


Rewriting History at Torchwood

by Sharanesu



Series: Rewriting History at Torchwood Saga [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Friendship/Love, M/M, Male Slash, Memory Loss, Prostitution, Self-Medication, Tattoos, Unknown medical illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-11
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 04:17:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/756944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharanesu/pseuds/Sharanesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winter 2002: John doesn’t know who he is, where he comes from or why he knows things no other human does.  He doesn’t know why he’s lost on a cold Cardiff night with nothing but the clothes on his back.  He has neither identity nor any understanding of the world around him but above all he’s alone and desperately afraid.  John slowly learns to carve out a life for himself as a hustler and has learned how to treat a strange affliction he suffers from.  Something happened to him – something really bad.  Then one night he meets Captain Jack Harkness and is offered a Job as Torchwood’s technical specialist.  Slowly Jack builds his team to include John, Owen, Ianto and Gwen.  This is the story of the new Torchwood, a love tale of Jack and John but also a journey of discovery as John finally learns who and what he really is – unfortunately  Jack’s brother comes into the picture and everything goes to hell.<br/>Covers Torchwood Season 1-2.  Eleventh Doctor Timeline around mid-season 7 after he loses Amy & Rory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Lost Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not Mine  
> Also sorry about the title I have no idea what to call this fic. Also some mistakes still lurking about - so again really sorry - I was trying to write differently to the style I use for the Tenth Doctor...not sure it worked.

Winter 2002:

The young man hugged himself, shivering and cold walking through the driving rain. He wore a tweed jacket with black jeans and boots but they did nothing to keep him warm against a cold Cardiff night. He doesn’t remember how he got here...he giggles – he doesn’t remember much of anything really. He knows he’s alive...that’s about it. He tries to think of a name but nothing comes to mind. A home – but there is none. Friends – but he sees no face or remembers any kind words. He is an empty shell that feels so wrong.

It’s colder now and getting darker. He’s got nothing on him – no wallet, no money – no nothing. He’s cold and alone.  
“Hey baby, looking for somewhere to keep dry?” A young boy stands under the open sided broken bus-stop with a glass roof. He’s dressed in short jeans and t-shirt, not right for this weather either.

“Do you know who I am?” the young man asks. He needs to know who he is. Something is under his skin – it’s not his own...he giggles and feels like his brain will exploded with all the stuff he doesn’t know.

The young boy – or hustler, well easier to just call him a hooker – looks over the other kid, noting the dark long hair that is plastered to his skull, the green eyes and the rather predominant chin. There is a rather desperate look in those glowing eyes and he knows that look all too well. This boy has no one and nothing – just like him.

“You’re looking for me,” the hooker tells him, reaching out and stroking the pale soft skin.

“I am?”

“Sure, love. I’m going to take you somewhere warm.”

The cold man likes the idea of that – somewhere warm.  
** 

Winter 2 years later - 2004:

John Smith, as he called himself looked around his one room home. He’d worked hard to get this from his pimp. Unfortunately he was forever tied to his pimp, finding himself in a never ending cycle of owing money, making money and then owing money again. His drug habit didn’t help but at least he was warm. He hated being cold – his skin always felt colder than everyone else. It felt like it wasn’t his skin.

“John!” A young man knocks on his door and looks inside smiling brightly at his friend – his only friend.

“Hey Banjo!” John greets, pleased to see his saviour up and around today. He’d never discovered why everyone called him Banjo but he’d never given any other name. Like many people who’d lived rough he had many secrets that he shared with no one. Banjo was paler today, very ill looking. Recently, he’d discovered he was HIV positive and things weren’t going well for his prognosis. A simple chest infection had turned in pneumonia and it wasn’t going away. Banjo knew he was dying and so did John. John thought he could see death sometimes. He’d look and stare at Banjo and he could see it – an ending to a timeline. A life cut short. A crack in time.

“I heard you got the good room,” Banjo said pleased his friend was doing better.

“Yeah, a little more space,” John agrees. 

Banjo looks around at the room. He never really understood John, but likes him nevertheless. John in someone different to everyone else Banjo had ever known. He carried with him an innocence and wonder that didn’t diminish even with his current method of employment. He knew the John had no memory concerning who he was and where he came from. His first memory started that day he’d met him in the rain. John, he noticed was very clever – really clever – Mensa level clever. He was always taking things apart and putting them back together – strangely they worked even better with John’s touch. There were pieces of machinery and electronics littered around the new room only hours after moving in. John always spent what little money he had left after his pimp took his earnings for rent and drugs on books – any type of book going cheep – history, architecture – everything. The scary thing was he’d read them all and remember every word. Banjo suggested he’d try to go back to school or college but it was nothing but a pipe dream – both of them knew that would never happen. John was in the same trap he’d found himself in – owing money to a pimp. He also had a big problem with mental issues and without the drugs he used to self medicate he was kind of hyper. He was scarily manic at times, but Banjo didn’t blame him, John’s brain just didn’t work the same as everyone else’s. 

The Pimp he owed money to was called Joey – stupid name for a really stupid man but he had family connections and muscle to back him up. The whole house was home to Joey’s hookers. 

“Rent,” Joey stood in the doorway watching John and Banjo talking. His eyes already fixed on John’s arse which he was about to tap. Banjo paled and froze, terrified about this meeting and knowing he had no money to pay. Who wanted a hooker that couldn’t even breathe enough to suck cock. “Hey, it’s okay my friend,” Joey says walking into the room and putting a comforting hand on the young boy’s shoulder. “I know you’re not doing so well, so why don’t we just forget the rent this month.” 

Banjo gasps in surprise and then has a coughing fit. John looks after him and leads him out the room back to his own so he can rest. He returns moments later to find Joey waiting and John knows why.

“Rent,” Joey says with a grin already unzipping his jeans. John starts undressing and lies on the bed as his mind detaches itself from this moment. “This is just his rent,” the pimp snarls immediately thrusting into the pre-lubed hole and taking him hard, fast and painfully. John nods understanding the agreement they made. It’s over fast and afterwards John hardly feels the ache. Joey is not a well endowed man and John had to force a lot of moaning just to fool him into thinking that he made a difference. He came hot and hard but John is left cold and strangely even emptier.

John had been saddened by Banjo’s illness. In this huge strange world John had discovered himself in two years ago – Banjo was his only friend along with being the only person he trusted. He’d brought him into his home, made love to him that night and for a second he wasn’t cold. Banjo had chosen his name – John Smith. John had been so lost; he’d understood nothing of the world around him – he was starting with a blank slate. He knew nothing about money, TV, culture or other necessities and most certainly did not how to look after himself. Banjo had taught him that. Money became annoyingly important and he’d been introduced to his pimp, who’d fucked him in the back of a car and offered him a job. He’d suddenly got a home and employment. 

The men who fucked him were usually supplied by his pimp but he did some work on the streets to – mainly sucking cock in dirty alleys. He did manage to supplement his income by offering technical support. Basically there wasn’t a phone he couldn’t unlock or a computer he couldn’t hack. Truthfully John disliked both types of work but in the end he had little choice. He had a habit to support and to be without his fix was worse than sucking some drunk’s cock in the rain. It had been his pimp, Joey who had offered him his first injection of heroin. Off course, it was just another way for him to get his claws into his boys and keep them owing him money, but John had discovered the joys of a clear mind and he’d been hooked ever since. Over time he’d worked on purifying his supply to ensure that it worked without too many side effects that the pollutants added. Once he’d used some stuff cut with powered aspirin and had been ill for days – he did not want a repeat of that. However, over time the drug still had devastating effects but John was willing to pay the price for a second of calm. He would do anything because whatever was wrong with his brain the drugs had an almost sedative effect. Banjo informed him that feeling wasn’t natural – that others had a sense of euphoria or something. For John it was a thousand times better, when he shot up he could think clearly and actually be still for a second without existing in frantic, manic or agitated state. 

There was so much shit inside his head but the problem was half of it he didn’t understand. Sometimes he saw images of people, places he didn’t know, heard language he couldn’t translate and felt emotions that were totally foreign to him. He saw things in the world around him that others did not. Sometimes he saw time twist and turn around him, changing and fluxing but no one else saw the changes or noticed a difference. In the centre of Cardiff he could hear a screaming void that sometimes made his ears hurt but on other occasions he welcomed the sound since it felt so familiar – so much like home. His body felt wrong as if it wasn’t his skin. He was human like everyone else and yet felt as if he was a mistake. He didn’t fit into the correct boxes that appeared to make people human (damn, even that sensation confused him.) His mind never stopped turning, he was endlessly preoccupied with a million and one thoughts that churned inside his head day and night – even when he was asleep. His mind bounced from idea to thought, so fast that even he became lost at times. There was knowledge he really didn’t understand but at the same time knew it to be true. It just went on and on – it would not stop – the images, the thoughts, equations and science, languages and sounds that never ever stopped. They would just get louder and louder until his brain felt like it would explode. Then John would get his fix and there would be blessed silence and a slow almost human thought process. He could stop and breathe. At times it was all he wanted – just to stop and be still. Unfortunately the effects didn’t last but for a while he was free from a body that felt alien to him and a skin that itched.

John’s hyperactive body and brain was far from his only problems. John was different not just because of his occasional manic behaviour but also his fears. John hated the dark – no, he was terrified of it. Inside his mind there was a name for what lurked in the darkness and he knew there were monsters hiding in the shadows. Joey had learned pretty early on his weakness. He’d fucked up with a client of Joey’s once and he’d been punished by being locked in a closet for three days. All that time he’d screamed, howled and begged to be freed. Inside the closet it was like his nightmares became real. He’d seen images in the dark places, but he didn’t know if they were memories or imaginings. There were metal robots that had screamed “Exterminate” at him. Large green creatures with long claws that slashed at him. Monks with no heads that tried to kill hill. The worst were the stones Angels that took something so very important away from him but he couldn’t work out what. In the closet they felt so close – so real and he was terrified because it was happening again and he couldn’t escape. Joey had laughed at his unreasonable fears but deep down John frightened him too.

To escape the closet, Joey had offered him a deal – let some business men have him for the night and he’d be freed and all would be forgiven. John had agreed without a second thought. He’d do anything to escape that dark place, but little did he know that night would lead him into rape, torture and pain. However, he’d accepted it because even that was better than what awaited him in the darkness.

The drugs did help John with his nightmares – without them he’d scream the house down they were so terrorizing and cause him more trouble with his pimp. In a drug haze he could sleep by blurring the nightmares, making them appear less real but when John awakened they were still there. John worked at night, walking the streets or going where Joey sent him. He slept in the daylight; windows wide open with the sunlight streaming in warming his cold skin. The day was time he could be alone enjoying the light and playing with his experiments. 

John left his room early that night, wearing a thin t-shirt, black torn jeans and his hair well styled. He always liked to make sure the hair was perfect – he had to balance the size of his nose and jaw for one thing. He wasn’t sure why he felt uncomfortable about those features. Surely he’d had them all his life, yet for some reason they felt...new. He didn’t know how old he was but he was guessing early twenties – yet he felt older...sometimes ancient.

It was mid October now and the nights were drawing in making Cardiff a cold and damp place. John and Banjo shared a spot to work from not far from the whorehouse but now Banjo was only there when he was well enough. His illness was taking hold fast and John wondered if his friend would ever stand there again. He didn’t regret paying Banjo’s rent, Joey had demanded sex and since it meant nothing, John gave in easily. Banjo had saved him from the cold streets, taken him in when he didn’t even know his name. He owed Banjo his life. Anyhow, sex was just sharing body space. Someone stuck their dick in you, you moaned and then they came. It was rather monotonous at times – so many of his clients wanted a dirty fuck somewhere quickly. They’d bend him over and stick it in, thrust a few times and that was about it. He preferred sucking to fucking. Sucking got him more work, it could be done right on his patch and his bonus was he didn’t have to touch his client anywhere else but his dick. He’d stick on a condom, suck it down his throat and it would be over. Yes, he preferred the not touching. Sometimes when people touched him he swore he could hear their voices talking to him and he disliked what they called him – whore, bitch, slut and the worst one – Freak.

That night was slow and none of the regulars were about. The Police had raided a drug house just a block away and that scared off the prowlers for the last couple of nights. Pickings would be slim. John was considering heading home and asking for work from Joey – even though he didn’t enjoy his time when the men Joey knew. Joey’s clients were too personal, too invasive – too violent. Suddenly, John heard a loud bang of a gun, a growl and then someone running. Without even thinking he reacted, running down a nearby alley and almost falling over a man lying on the pavement. The man wore a strange long blue overcoat and dark blue clothing that kinda looked like it was straight out of a WWII drama. John knelt beside him and tried to find a pulse – there was none – the man was dead.

John sighed wondering what to do next. He really hated it, he knew it was wrong, but he should not let the opportunity pass so he checked him for money. He was patting the man down when suddenly he spoke.

“You’re feeling me up and I don’t even know you.”

John jumps back, falling on his ass and staring at the previously dead man. “You were dead!”

“Nah, just winded,” the man says, sitting up slowly and checking his pockets.

“I didn’t take nothing,” John snaps strangely annoyed because deep down he knows the man was lying. He was dead and then...he wasn’t.

The man smiles at him and manages to get to his feet brushing dirt off his coat as he does. He looks around and grins, John shudders as the man picks up a gun from a drain, wipes it clean and puts it away in hip holster. John hates guns – hates violence. Weapons just leave him feeling dirty.

“You okay,” the man asks holding out a hand to help John up.

“Yeah,” John replies, taking the warm hand and allowing the man to pull him up. This man gave John a feeling like no-other. A sensation he cannot explain and yet he feels as if this strange being is not part of the world around him – this man is separate, standing on the outside of time...yet, that is a ridiculous idea. His presence feels strange and different – wrong. John tries to work out what it is but can’t pin it down – the knowledge just isn’t there, but he knows it should be. He is ready to ask the man about it when there is another growl and a strange creature appears at the end of the alley – they are both drawing its attention. “Run!” the man orders John but he doesn’t move. Something is so familiar but he can’t work it out what. He should know what this thing is and what it means. He freezes to the spot not moving when the creature jumps towards them. The man shoots but misses since the monster is too fast and in a second John is on the floor again with the thing on top of him. Strangely, he’s not afraid. He just stares up at it, thinking that it’s damn ugly but once it was human. There are parts attached to his body, machinery John doesn’t recognise but instinctively understands. He studies the configuration of devices on the creature’s head, and then reaches up behind the ear and pulls. His hands find something solid and he rips it away. The creature screams, arches and then at last is still.

“How the hell?” the man gasps watching John with disbelief. 

“It was controlled by this unit – some type of transponder...” John says looking over the device in his hand and casually pushing the creature off him. He flicks it over and starts studying the circuitry. “This is really advanced, the body is dead but the input from this device....” John trails off as he notices the man staring at him strangely.

“Who are you?”

“I can be anyone you want,” John answers with a grin and gets to his feet. He brushes the dirt from his jeans and looks over the device in his hand. Lost once again in his fascination and leaving Jack bemused.

****

Captain John Harkness had never met anyone so strange. (No, strike that – anyone so strange and human – not mentioning a certain Time Lord...) The young man had been unaffected by the sight of the cyborg and had disarmed it in seconds. He was currently studying the control unit and muttering to himself. Jack noted his clothing and answered his own question. In this part of town, on a very cold night, this boy could only be one thing.

“Captain Jack Harkness,” Jack introduces holding out his hand to the young man. 

Intense dark green eyes look him over and the hand but the young man doesn’t take it. “John Smith,” he says returning to his studying.

“I really need that control unit,” Jack tells John, holding out his hand this time for the alien tech which is now the property of Torchwood.

“Why – he doesn’t need it. Also from looking at this I’m guessing there’s more, maybe three. It’s a linked transponder...”  
Jack stares at him a little confused, but after a moment the young man sighs and hands him the piece of alien technology. He’s not sure what to do with that information, now sure how this man could have worked that out just by looking at it. Even Jack doesn’t understand it. It also leaves Jack with one more problem – John.

“I was wondering if you could help me carry this thing to the car,” Jack asks knowing he can’t let this man out of his sight until he’s dealt with his memory. Jack was being blasé with the Torchwood protocols and had forgotten to bring with him any retcon. It was a drug devised from alien tech that caused memory loss and for situations like this one – he needed it. In truth Jack had been keeping a low profile since 2000 when his team were murdered, he kept away from people not wanting to get them involved with his business and most likely dead. Even the Hub had suffered from his neglect leaving it rundown and very out of date. John here already knew too much, even though Jack is intrigued how he knows it but too many people have died getting involved with him and Torchwood. He really doesn’t want the kid dead. It’s better if he forgot this night completely. 

John looks from Jack to the creature and back again, he considers it and after a moment just shrugs in agreement. Far too trusting for a hooker Jack decides wondering who he was and what led him here.

“Why not,” he says and helps Jack move the now completely dead thing into the trunk of his range rover just parked around the corner.

“Hey how about I buy you dinner for your help?” Jack suggests needing to get the young man to come with him. He’s decided to take him home to Torchwood hub (via the back entrance) where he has a supply of Retcon. He doesn’t think it’s going to be that easy to get the man to come with him, but John just shrugs again and gets in the car.

John knows that Jack isn’t really asking for dinner, he wants to fuck him somewhere and John needs the money so he agrees. Banjo is always telling him he’s too trusting. He’d got into more trouble than he can remember over the last two years – some of it not very nice. He’d gone with a client once and he’d been held prisoner for over a week. The man hadn’t taken him, just hurt him in ways John didn’t like to think about. He’d escaped in the end and healed – he always healed quite quickly. Which was good for him because clients didn’t like marked goods – they would rather being doing it themselves.

John looked out the window as they drove not needing to fill the silence with conversation. He’d shot up earlier and was feeling quite calm and relaxed. Clients didn’t like him so hyped up that he jumped of the ceiling. They arrived at what looked like a warehouse and Jack drove into what turned out to be a large garage. There were more cars and a lot of equipment stored everywhere, messy and unused. Jack left the body in the car and led John into another area. This larger space looked like a sewer with tunnels, glass houses that appeared to hold office and lab equipment, all surrounding a central column of glass. The glass shone different colours and blazed with light instantly drawing John’s attention and giving him the strangest sensation of home he’d ever felt. John would have looked to have to stayed staring at this new light show but Jack led him into another room, an office this time and he took of his overcoat. John sat into a chair beside the desk while Jack got out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. He poured the drinks and offered one to John.

“I’m sure you’re over eighteen,” Jack winks before drinking his whiskey straight back.

John nodded and just stared at the drink for a while. Alcohol did nothing for him and he wasn’t thrilled with the taste, but he accepted the drink swallowing it down just as quickly. He savoured the flavour as his mind picked apart the chemical compounds to what he’d just drunk. He found something strange – something he didn’t understand but his body reacted as it usually did when this happened – the chemicals were rejected from his system and dissipated.

Jack watched the young man silently for quite a while and was becoming increasingly worried. The Retcon should have worked by now, he’d done it right...oh fuck. Jack sighed and realised he was screwed. There were a few people that were immune to Retcon and Jack just happened to find one. Great!

“Another?” Jack asks hopefully – maybe another dose would work, but he doubts it. John hasn’t shown a single effect from the large dose.

John shakes his head and stands up. To Jack’s surprise he moves closer determination clear in his eyes. He pushes Jack’s chair back, the rusty wheels screech as he positions himself between Jack and the desk. He moves between Jack’s legs, pressing his thin body to the other man feeling the growing arousal.

“You don’t want to drink,” John whispers, his voice deep and husky with lust. He takes Jack’s glass and hitches his butt onto the desk then spreads long legs. His hands reach for Jack pulling him up against him, as he thrusts his hips against Jack’s clothed cock.

“John...I...” Jack starts with a groan as his arousal rubs against the hard, willing body. It’s been a long time for Jack since his last lover. He’d had a few one night stands but that’s about it. He’d been avoiding people and working alone at Torchwood 3 since his team died. The Hub had been left a mess and neglected since then, it was only recently that Torchwood 1 demanded he reopens for business. That was hard to do when Jack was determined to avoid the outside world. His relationships had also suffered – they don’t work when you actually avoid people. This young man – hooker – fortunately or not was everything that Jack liked in a male. Tall, lithe, amazing eyes and with a mouth that you would kill for. Deep down Jack knew this shouldn’t happen, but he couldn’t resist. He told himself that John was a professional, they could fuck and have no strings attached. He could taste and touch but then never see him again. Well, apart from trying to sort the whole mess of him not forgetting this whole night.

The strong young body pressed against his more firmly and Jack felt the edge of a long cock against his. Jack groaned and gave in. It didn’t take much – he liked the man, liked his mouth and eyes and really why should he refuse? Jack grins sliding his hands over the man’s hips and down to his butt. He palms the toned cheeks and pulls him close into the cradle of his hips. He groans as their bodies touch and searches out for his wet mouth. Jack kisses him, his mouth open and wide as he laps into the coolness. John is a little hesitant about kissing but finally he moves his mouth responding to Jack. When you suck someone they didn’t kiss you and very few men who fucked him did either. It was an area that John lacked experience, but Jack appears very interested in his mouth. 

John discovers he kind of likes Jack’s hot, clever tongue. He pushes it into the warm mouth as his hands stroke up Jack’s arms and wrap around his neck. Jack holds his butt firmly, pulling them close and pressing their groins together. He can feel the growing erection and rubs against it. Jack groans, his hands tightening as they slide up John’s back. Jack kisses until he can’t take any more, he’s fully erect and he wants to touch this fine body. He wants to touch and fuck. He pushes John back across the desk, taking a moment to enjoy the splayed out body before him.

John moves them along and begins to strip of his clothing. Jack does the same, yanking them off as John’s lovely pale skin is revealed. His mouth waters and he wants John naked and touching. Jack throws aside his shirt and T-shirt, but only has time to unzip his trousers before he’s pressing against John’s naked flesh. John spreads his legs, wrapping them around Jack’s chest as he lies back onto the desk.

Jack would have liked to kiss again, but John is laid about before him bare and erect. His long legs up, ready and apart so he can see the tiny hole that winks at him. He strokes his hands down a pale thigh, over a nice long cock before touching the hole below. It’s already wet and ready. Jack fiddles for a condom in his back pocket thankfully finding one. He might leave the hub without Retcon but never without protection. He quickly roles on the pre-lubed condom over his dick and pushes against the tight ring.

John whines so beautiful as Jack enters him, pushing his cock all the way in until slaps against his thighs. John legs pull him in tightly, holding Jack’s thick cock so deep within him. Jack runs a hand over the long body, watching as John arches and moans. For the first time Jack notices that there are tattoos – a lot of tattoos. Under John’s belly button is a tribal mark running down his flat stomach and leading down to his thick dark pubic hair. There are letters in Greek and Jack has to force his mind back years to remember what they say, but he does.

“Theta Sigma,” Jack notes considering the letters as his finger strokes down John’s flat stomach making him shiver.

“The end is the beginning,” John translates moaning softly as Jack strokes the tattoo with light fingers. He wriggles and waits for Jack to start thrusting but Jack wants to hold off – to look and touch. There is another tattoo around John’s right shoulder and arm – a dragon fighting a firebird. Chinese mythology too, Jack notes. There are other tattoo’s smaller ones dotted around his body and Jack realises that many of them are covering up old scars. He strokes his fingers over each feeling the raised skin and then he notices the track marks. Pity rises in his chest for the young handsome boy; he wants to say something but notices the shame in John’s eyes.

“Take me,” John growls becoming more nervous as Jack studies him. The word seems to wake Jack up again and he starts a punishing rhythm. John likes Jack’s cock, it’s thick and wide touching him just right and Jack has talent for hitting that spot inside that makes him see stars. He could come from this he realises without forcing himself too. Jack strokes him, touches him and finally takes his cock into hand. Jack pulls on his dick with each deep thrust until finally he comes filling the condom and triggering John’s shortly after as he continues to caress the long cock. John has had a few clients who made him come, but usually most want him to do so just to boost their ego or something. John even in his line of business really doesn’t understand sex.

Jack remains still a moment and John feels so vulnerable like this – he doesn’t like it. Afterglow is something else John has never experienced. He likes it finished so he can stop touching, cover his skin and leave. Jack can see the small signs of agitation and withdraws from the tight wet heat. John dresses quickly and it’s like it never happened.

John looks around while Jack cleans himself up purposely not looking in his direction. “What do you do here?” he calls walking into the main area.

“Nothing much,” Jack replies vaguely as he finishes dressing. While John is thankful it is over, Jack starts to feel a little unfilled.

“Hmm...Torchwood,” John reads as he finds some boxes which too his joy are full with very new and very expensive equipment. He almost yells with excitement but manages to hold it in. Without conscious thought he starts to put the machine together without instructions or a diagram – his hand just knows where each part should go. It is like they are working from some type of sense memory even if John cannot remember it. 

Jack comes out of his office and freezes startled. He doesn’t speak just stares as the young man works, putting the parts together of something Jack doesn’t recognise. He works quickly and doesn’t even look at anything just slides it together before standing back and surveying his work. 

“Cool,” John breathes his brain supplying him with an image of the device he’d seen in a scientific journal. “I’ve read about this, I found some Science Today journals and it featured in one – they must have been expensive.”

“You read about it – and managed to put it together – does it work?” Jack asks startled. He should be angry but he’s not, he’s never met anyone like John and he’s being constantly surprised. No – that’s not true. He has met someone before who amazed him but in the end he abandoned Jack. He pushes those memories away and just considers the kid before him.

“Yeah, I have a photographic memory,” John says absently switching the machine on and giving it life. “I also did this IQ thingy – they said I must have cheated, but I didn’t.”

Jack watches amazed as this hooker genius starts putting more of his new equipment together. He doubts that anyone outside of Torchwood has seen most of this stuff before but John’s hands work as if on automatic. His touch creates and Jack is astounded. 

“What’s the big glowly thing?” John asks as a handheld chemical analyser takes shape.

“It’s a Rift Manipulator,” Jack informs him watching John’s reaction. The young man just shrugs accepting it immediately as truth and finishes up his reader. He points it at the rift and takes a reading.

“Rift...without radiation...space time tear – I read about wormholes is it something like that?” John enquires turning his attention to something new. Jack moves closer to watch and slides into a seat beside him. John doesn’t really pay him much attention as he is far more interested in what else he can find.

“Something like that. You ever been to collage? I bet you could do well,” Jack replies vaguely while he tries to learn more about the boy. Damn, but he would have loved to have seen John’s IQ test. Jack is glimpsing at a very rare talent, an intelligence that might have been unique even in his time period. Yet, the boy is turning tricks on a street corner in Cardiff when he’s probably smarter than Einstein. 

“Nah... I have problems,” John admits.

“The drugs?”

John looks up at him and blushes, shame burning his cheeks. “Yeah, my friend says I’m hyper. I guess I am – just can’t sit still. I have to be doing something, moving, thinking, running, working everything or I get a little...Nuts.” His voice grows a little louder at the end before he controls it again. Joey had told him you don’t show paying customers his nutty side.

“There’s medication,” Jack suggests. He’s beginning to like this young man maybe even care. He likes his intelligence, his green eyes and well, basically everything. He’s starting to be fond of the whole package because this kid is like nothing he expected. Jack can feel it – he’s something special. He brings out a forbidden possessiveness in Jack who really wants to keep him, own him and never let this unique individual out of his sight. John has an amazing mind along with a killer ass – for Jack that is the perfect combination.

John shrugs, “I manage.” 

“You could change jobs, start fresh.”

John stills and turns away. “I am what I am,” he whispers and Jack can hear the edge of pain in his tone. This boy has some dark secrets, Jack decides, ones that appear to be destroying him.

“You’re very clever, I can see that John. You could be so much more.”

John stills and wraps his arms around himself, feeling suddenly unsure why he’s still here. He should go – leave and not come back. But he doesn’t want to... he likes Jack, he likes the stuff here. He likes the strange vibe Jack gives off which almost makes him like he’s...home.

“I have to go,” John whispers and starts to head to the door. 

“Wait,” Jack calls and grabs his arm. John yanks it back looking terrified. He knows when men grab him it usually leads to something very unpleasant and violent.

“I won’t tell about you. I won’t tell anyone.” John begs – he’s worked out that this place is some secret organisation and he’s not supposed to be here. Everything is just so exciting and new...yet, familiar. It’s the first time he’d felt like that anywhere. He’s missed the feeling of familiarity and doesn’t want to lose it again, but he can tell this place is probably top secret and he’s not welcome.

“I know,” Jack answers calmly, a little upset that he’d frightened John so deeply. He opens his wallet and takes out a fifty pound note before holding it out. John stares at the money but doesn’t take it. “Please, for helping with the body.”

John cautiously takes the money from Jack and shoves it into his back pocket. They don’t say goodbye but just look at each other before John leaves and Jack wonders if he’s done the right thing.

****

Life for John returns back to normal, he takes clients at night and during the day he buries himself in anything he can find concerning all the fascinating things he found at Torchwood. He spends time at the library reading up on the technology Jack has and discoverers some are more advanced than anything in the journals. He’d love to go back and play again. He liked Jack. The strange man didn’t treat him like a whore and when they had touched he hadn’t felt disgusted. He hadn’t had to force his body to respond to produce the necessary hormones into his system to become erect and come. He’d liked Jack’s gentle touch and had not lied or had to pretend he enjoyed it. Jack had real talent for sex and had actually made John feel quite good about it too.

A few nights after his visit to Torchwood, John was standing on his usual turf when he felt the strange presence in his gut and knew it was Jack. He smiles slowly and waits for Jack to appear.

Jack didn’t know why he was doing this. He should be sorting out Torchwood 3, hiring staff and getting a team together to help him run it. He’d been researching applicants but as of yet it was just him. He didn’t know what brought him here to this district of Cardiff either. He didn’t think about it but his body wanted to find the strange young man again.

He was in his usual place, dressed only in a rock band t-shirt and tight jeans. He smiled shyly when Jack approached.

“What can I do for you, Captain?” he enquired with a grin. 

Jack really shouldn’t have come here but he couldn’t stay away any longer. He gazes him over the long body and shivers with desire. He wants this. He wants to touch, to hold and to own all over again.

“Got somewhere warm to go?” Jack requests with a sexy smirk that deepens John’s lovely blush.

John cheeky smirk turns into a real smile and he holds an arm out to the other man, “Follow me.” He holds Jack’s arm tightly to him as in a gaunt drags him back to his room. Jack is disgusted with John’s living conditions but he says nothing as the young man proudly leads him into a small room. The bed is low with steel bars at each end and Jack doesn’t linger on what that meant. John says nothing just pulls him through the door and closes it behind them.

Jack notices the scattered pieces of equipment, wiring, circuits and everything else you could image was spread everywhere. The walls are covered with diagrams and drawings, while small experiments are taking shape in different corners. There are no curtains at the window, they are open to the sky and the moon shone in. There is also a surprisingly large number of lights. Jack spots under the bed what looks like a small chemistry set and wonders.

John moves closer to Jack and starts unzipping his jeans, Jack’s hands stop him and he gets a confused look in return.  
“I want to kiss you,” Jack whispers turning his attention away from the room and towards the pretty young man. John smiles shyly and lets Jack pull him close before pressing their lips together. Jack liked this young man’s kisses, they are slow and hesitant to begin with and then as their passion increases become frantic. Jack runs his hands over the tall slim body before sliding down and grabbing the pert behind. He has to admit he likes John’s ass, it’s one of his finer features. Slim, but shaped just right for Jack to grab onto. Women he likes breasts – men he really likes a nice ass.

Jack walks John backward to the bed and they laugh as John falls back. The young hustler strips out off his clothing before Jack, throwing them across the room and spreads his legs. 

Jack groans at the sight of all that pale flesh with the tattoos he’s beginning to adore. “Touch yourself,” he begs watching John’s eyes widen in surprise. The young man trembles as he slowly moves his hands down his stomach to his cock and strokes tentatively. The sight has Jack throbbing in seconds and he flung off his clothing in record time. He climbs onto the bed, a bit disappointed when John turns over and presents his behind. 

“I want to touch you,” Jack whispers to him, leaning over the firm back and kissing his throat. John actually whines and arches into him. Jack runs his hands down his spine and smiles as he finds new tattoo’s he didn’t know about. In the hollow of John’s spine is a new one, still a little red around the edges and he yelps as Jack runs his tongue along the outline of the phoenix drawn there. 

“Nice,” he comments, the design suits him. Jack’s hands pull John’s butt cheeks apart and he licks down the crack until he reaches the tight hole. He slides in a finger and feels the cool lubricant. John nudges him and Jack takes the offered condom. He only parts from John’s body a moment as he slides it on before pressing his cock forward and entering the tight orifice.

John makes such beautiful sounds that Jack has a hard time controlling his orgasm. He starts a hard rhythm, pushing in deep before almost withdrawing all the way out. He watches his cock for a moment, panting as John’s body takes him into the root. Spellbound by the sight he pushes in extra fingers finding the hidden gland. John gives a lovely yelp when he finds it and shoves his ass back with desperate need. Jack surges forward, burying his cock and wraps his arms around John’s chest. John shudders at the close contact, not sure he likes being held so tightly. John prefers people to just fuck him and move on, he doesn’t like being restrained and held down. Bad experiences come from that.

Jack slowly lifts John into a kneeling position over his lap feeling the slight stiffness in the young man. “So pretty,” he whispers into John’s ear and slides a hand down to his flagging cock. He sucks on the long neck, kissing and licking until John gives a real groan. Jack smiles knowing he’s got John’s attention back and wondered what frightened the young man so much. He wraps his arms around John and they move together, Jack thrusting up into the tight ass as John grinds down.

Jack likes how John’s moans have changed and he wonders what made the kid fake them before. Some part of him doesn’t want to know, he’s fucking a man who could well be the product of long term abuse. He doesn’t know what brought John to this situation. Jack forces every doubt to the back of his mind and just moves with the young man. It’s hot and tight in his position but it’s also so very intimate. John is beginning to enjoy being held like this, to like how deep Jack is within him and the solid heat against his back. Jack rubs the long cock feeling it harden and John wriggles against him fully aroused for real.

“Jack,” he breathes as he closes his eyes and pants. Jack has never seen anything so beautiful. He would love to bend John over and just thrust but he can’t take his eyes of the blissful face and slack mouth. He turns John’s head and they kiss with tongues sliding together. The sex has become slow and deep, and Jack uses a free hand to hold John to him as he fucks him harder. John moans into his mouth, his legs spreading as he tries to get more leverage. Soon they are desperate, moving fast and deep as passion explodes. Jack grabs John’s legs forcing them apart and back which in turn tilts John forward back on his hands and knees while Jack uses this new leverage to pound inside him. A few more thrusts and he comes filling the condom only to collapse back onto the bed. He tries to pull John down with him, surprised by the sudden startled response, but as Jack calms him with full body strokes, John rests back into his arms.

“I like you, Jack. I like sex with you.” John says matter of fact. Jack grins and strokes a hand over the smooth skin feeling pretty much the same. Jack lies back catching his breath for a while, holding the boy close but after a few minutes John starts to fidget. Finally Jack is forced to release him and he bounds around the room. Jack watches John closely, his face is flushed and there is a nervous twitch as he jerks his head and hands. He dresses in some jeans before running around checking his stuff, twisting a screw here and turning something there. Jack watches amazed as the kid’s agitation grows transforming him from in all appearances a normal young man into a frantic child.

“John, why don’t you sit down a moment,” Jack asks, moving to the edge of the bed and finding his clothing. John only glances at him and his movements become desperate, jerky and panicked.

“I need...no...not right...” John mumbles. He forces his body to stop, to slow since he needs to make Jack leave. “I need you to go...” he cries nervously and Jack works out why. 

“It’s okay John, I won’t stop you or interfere.” Jack wants to make sure this young man is safe and how he self medicates so no matter how much he hates drugs he will have to sit back and observe. In all honesty, what right does he have to stop him, if they make life liveable for John, Jack just hopes he can help. He can see the nervous energy John is producing, his twitching body and over stimulated mind. John blushes deeply but gets onto the floor and drags out the chemistry set.

Jack sits back not interfering just watching as John pulls out a small package from his jeans and empties it into a small vial. He lights a little tea light and heats the mixture adding a few other chemicals Jack cannot recognise just by sight alone. He’s amazed as he watches John work, heating the heroin to a fluid and then purifying it though tubes and flasks until he’s left with a small vial of clear liquid.

“You like chemistry, John?” Jack enquires calmly.

“I have to make it right. It has to be pure...need it to stop,” John mutters and Jack watches as the young man injects the substance into the crook of his elbow. “Not pure – stuff in it. I don’t like the stuff...” The change in John surprises him, he calms immediately, his eyes become less frantic and he’s focused once again. Jack gets the strange idea that it’s like John’s brain is alight with a mind overwhelmed but then when he gets the fix his head resets, slows and John finds clarity once again. Jack wants to help this young man; to find out what the hell makes him like this and why do the drugs help? The change is like watching John become someone else – the frantic fidgeting ends, the jerking, and the eyes that can’t stay still for one second. His whole body seems to loosen and relax...almost normal human like.

“You could try looking for a new medicine,” Jack suggests saddened by this revelation. There is something very wrong with John and Jack doesn’t know if it’s mental or physical. John had said it was like he got a little ‘nuts’ at times, and if what Jack just witnessed was small outbreak of his symptoms he understood why John would have trouble fitting into society. 

“I’m fine,” John replies automatically, but gives Jack a sad smile admitting that the both of them know it’s a lie. Jack knows John is a strong person that he tries to cope on his own and be independent...but, he’s just so lost. It is like everything around him is just so alien and unknown. Jack has checked he’s human, he only has the one heart and his semen tastes human (Jack knows these things.)

“Where do you come from?” Jack asks as he finishes dressing.

“I don’t know.” John replies truthfully returning to his radio experiment. “I have no memories of before – I just know something was wrong with me...my head...”

Jack turns and stares at the young man shocked by the revelation and was beginning to understand his sense of loss. He’d felt the same with he’d discovered he’d lost two years of his life with the Time Agency. He’d been so furious, so betrayed that he’d run and never really stopped. He can understand a little of John’s frustration and begins to wonder if it was illness that took the boy’s identity and past.

“You’re doing well, John.” Jack forces himself to say and loves the bright smile the young man gives him. It’s real and heartfelt. Jack is learning very quickly that John doesn’t share his feelings easily – the sounds and emotions he reveals aren’t always the truth – he only hides behind them. But Jack is getting glimpses of the real person inside.

Jack watches the young man work a while longer before reaching into his wallet and laying a fifty pound note on the bed. John doesn’t even notice as if money has little meaning. Jack tells himself he shouldn’t use the young man again, but a part of him knows he’s lying. He likes John – his body and his personality especially the parts he’s just getting glimpses of occasionally. Jack leaves without a word of goodbye and closes the door behind him. 

*********

It’s not a week later when Jack is awoken from his bed by a loud banging on the garage door. He can’t hear the banging but it has set off the intruder alarms. He jumps from his bed, gets dressed and runs to see the problem. To his surprise as the door opens he finds John standing there. He’s a complete mess with his face covered in bruises and his hands with blood.

“What happened?” Jack snaps crossing over the boy and grabbing his arms.

“I couldn’t stop him...” John mumbles and Jack notices his glazed eyes and white skin. He’s in shock.

“Stop who?” Jack demands, but John is already pulling him away. He lets John go and follows him out. He should really go back and get his gun, but he doesn’t think about that. John is terrified and John can easily guess that means trouble. He follows John, running down the alleyway until they reach his home. Inside he can hear screaming and Jack pushes forwards, running before John toward the terrible cries. He skids to a halt staring at body on the floor and the creature standing over him.

“There was more...” John whimpers and Jack feels sick. He should have taken more notice of John’s advice last time; he’d told him there would be more cyborgs. The body on the floor is a dead, Jack knows from experience that the terrible wounds would have killed him instantly. John sobs at the sight of the boy and Jack realises he must have been someone close to him. The creature stares at him for a long moment taking stock, assessing the situation and sees Jack is defenceless – he jumps. Jack remembers where John pulled the control panel from the last time and as he fights the beast attempts to remove it. He’s badly cut with the sharp claws but he gets a grip of the small device behind the creatures’ ear and yanks hard. It howls in fury knocking Jack across the room before collapsing in a heap - dead. Jack feels his neck snap with the impact and darkness overtakes him.

Very slowly Jack opens his eyes and looks up into the red, swollen eyes of his friend. He’s resting in John’s lap and the young man strokes his face sadly.

“Dead,” he whispers and Jack’s heart clenches at the sorrow he can see in those sparkling eyes.

“Not anymore,” Jack tells him reaching out to stroke a pale cheek and for a moment John leans into his palm. Jack slowly sits up and looks around taking stock of the destruction. John has covered the young man with a sheet and just beyond him is another fallen creature. John must have taken him out before he came looking for Jack’s help or after his friend’s death. John continues to surprise him and he’s not lacking courage it seems, but really Jack didn’t doubt that. Underneath his nervousness John has strength of character – a man who tries to do what is right and true.

“Come on,” Jack offers putting out a hand to help John off the floor, “let’s get you out of here.”

“I don’t want sex,” John replies bluntly and wraps his arms around his bent legs shutting everything away.

“It’s not safe, John. I just want to get you somewhere safe – you can’t stay here.”

“My home...” John starts, his voice catching as once again tears burn his eyes.

“I’ll find you a new one, I promise.” Slowly Jack is reaching out to distract his friend who finally accepts Jack’s offered hand. John’s skin is cold against his and he can feel the light trembles running through his body.

“He was my friend,” John pauses as they pass the wrapped body as if he could do something more but it’s far too late. 

“I’m so sorry,” Jack repeats gently as he continues to draw John from the house. Jack doesn’t know where to take him; he doesn’t want to abandon him especially at this time so he takes him home to the hub and lets him crash in his office. The boy curls into Jack’s couch and doesn’t move again. Jack makes some calls to clean up the mess and considers what to do with John. At this moment, he really doesn’t know – it’s not safe for him to go back and Jack honestly doesn’t want him to go back to a whorehouse ever! Jack decides to call it a night and heads back to his office to check on John. The boy is fast asleep on the couch so Jack sits at the desk and stares at his dirty features. He pours himself a large shot of whiskey, drinks it down and wonders what the hell he does next. Even covered with bloodstains and bruises Jack still wants him – wants to touch him, fuck him – hell, just hold him.


	2. A New Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start changing for John and Jack in a big way.

That morning, Jack awakens to find his face plastered to his desk along with a stiff back. He grunts as his body complains about the uncomfortable position and sits up scraping off paper stuck to his face. He glances at the couch and then jumps up alarmed – John is gone. He panics, grabbing his gun and without another thought runs out determined to search for John when suddenly he skidded to a halt. To his surprise he comes face to face with John’s ass sticking out from under a desk and he just has to stare. The young man moves again, shifting his body from the hole and looking up at a monitor. He gives a little noise of joy before moving back under the desk and starting again.

As Jack’s wits slowly return he looks around the room and wonders what the hell happened. Last night this place looked like a tornado had hit, filled with old broken equipment, new boxes and so much of Jack’s junk. He has no idea how or how long it took but the place has been transformed. Where there were once hundreds of boxes now stood computers and other working equipment that flashed and beeped with life. Jack can see it’s a work in progress but he’s astounded and a little shocked by John’s abilities. 

“Morning,” John says brightly, making Jack jump as he comes out his daze. He turns to the young man wincing as he spots the bruised and dirty face. 

“Morning, you okay?” Jack asks giving the kid a once over. He’s dirty and now covered with grease and blood. Jack considers himself a poor host and hasn’t even told John where to clean up.

“Fine,” John answers absently not at all understanding what Jack is referring to. Jack can tell from the blank look.

“You have been busy.”

“Couldn’t sleep...got a little anxious,” John admits showing slight signs of increased agitation. Jack only nods in reply and doesn’t push it since he’s got a pretty good idea why.

“I have a shower downstairs if you want; you can borrow some clothing too.” Jack loves how the smile brightens John’s face and his green eyes sparkle with excitement. 

“It has hot water?” Jack nods and John goes off running before asking where the bathroom is. Jack laughs at his excitement and grabs his arm before leading him down into his room. John almost bounces for joy at the sight of the shower and instantly strips his off clothing flinging them aside. Jack knows he should leave but he’s stuck to the spot as naked John stands under the showerhead and turns it on. The warm water has good pressure and it pounds down on John’s head.

“I love this!” John shouts with glee as he bounces on his heels making water spray everywhere. Jack is reminded a little of a hyperactive child, but pushes those thoughts aside because he can clearly see that John is no child. Jack doesn’t think as he too disrobes and steps into the shower joining John. John grabs him, pulling him under the spray and actually giggles. He rubs his dirty hair with his hands sending water everywhere, but laughs again. Jack stares at the long body arching up as John reaches to the ceiling as he stretches under the spray. The water making lovely trails all over his thin frame making Jack want to follow them with his tongue. Jack has to touch and he slides his hands down John’s chest to his waist. He draws the other man closer and kisses wet lips. John groans (a real one) and opens his mouth for Jack’s tongue. They kiss as Jack pulls John close holding him under the hot water, touching the warming skin as he plunders his welcoming mouth.

“I like your kisses, Jack,” John moans against his lips and Jack’s erection throbs with want. John has this wonderful innocence about him that Jack finds so irresistible – no matter his job – it’s still there. Jack kisses him again running his hands over John not sure what he wants to touch first. That choice is taken away when John pulls away and gives him a grin before sliding down Jack’s body and kneeling before him. Jack’s hard cock bobs in front of his face and he opens his mouth. He sucks on the flared end before licking down taking the long length into his wide mouth. There is no condom this time and John really doesn’t care. He sucks the warm skin taking Jack’s cock deeper and swallowing around him. Jack makes some lovely sounds that John loves to hear knowing his touch his affecting the other man.

“Oh fuck,” Jack cries as the tight throat closes around him. He has to hold himself up with one hand as John’s amazing mouth works him. He really is first-rate cock sucker, Jack thinks as his dick slides in just a bit deeper. He whines as he’s held tight inside John’s mouth and in embarrassing short length of time he comes. John lets his cock go only after it’s been thoroughly licked clean and then stands up. Jack cannot stop kissing him, tasting his semen of John’s tongue which he finds completely erotic. He strokes the firm body his hands cradling John’s hardening cock. John tries to protest but Jack only kisses him again keeping up the firm strokes, squeezing a little until John comes covering his fingers. They kiss some more before Jack had remembering that even here hot water doesn’t last forever. They clean up quickly and Jack finds John some clean clothing to wear. He bins the rest with disgust.

Jacks stomach rumbles and he goes in search of breakfast. John has little interest in food and returns to his computers while Jack makes use of the Hub’s kitchen making tea and toast. John likes his work and he jumps from one place to the next smiling like this is the best thing ever. Jack has to call him back for his breakfast and still John cannot stand still a moment. Jack finally gives up and just watches him as he scurries around the Hub. He’s not sure why but he trusts John’s intelligence. His hands work with such assuredly as if the movements are automatic and he’s been doing this forever. He wonders again what that IQ test said. 

“Jack, your rift thinging is bleeping,” John suddenly reports and Jack almost drops his cup of tea as he gapes in surprise. John has hooked up the computer to the rift manipulator and Jack watches as the readings scroll down the screen. His old equipment had no end of problems, which was one of the reasons why Torchwood 1 wanted Jack to reopen fully. They had sent all new equipment which Jack had failed to even glance at but over night John had worked miracles. Damn, Jack thought – never mind the body, I am never letting his brain go!

“You did this,” he asked amazed.

“It was basic stuff. You are just looking for fluxuations and rifts disturbances...right. After I worked out the physics of the Rift, the monitoring and stabilisation equipment was pretty easy to put together.”

“Yeah,” Jack answers blankly. He studies the data telling him that last night about the time of the attack at John’s home there was a rift energy spike. If only he’d had this equipment up and running he might have got their sooner. He really needs to get a team together.

“You want a job?” Jack asks excited because he’s already decided who his next team member will be.

John backs up and looks away nervously. “I have a job,” he retorts calmly, but Jack can tell he’s far from calm. For John everything has changed overnight – he’s lost a friend, his home and most likely everyone he knew apart from Jack.

“John,” Jack encourages gently turning the other man and touching his arm. “You can change jobs; you don’t have to do the same things forever. I know it’s all you can remember, it’s where your life started, but John you are so much more. It’s doesn’t have to end there either – as your friend I promise to help.”

“I don’t have a home...I’m not...”

Jack can see he’s hit a nerve as John’s face pales, but John’s eyes gaze at him intently and Jack can tell his words are making a difference. Maybe he has to start small but he really wants to help John rebuild his life. The kid has one amazing mind, one killer body – but it is more than that - Jack actually likes him.

“John, look why don’t you just help me out getting this set up? I could pay you and we’ll find you a new home how about that for starters?”

John hesitates, distress and fear flash through his features but he’s growing to trust Jack and his judgement. He doesn’t like change and all the new stuff he doesn’t understand. What Jack is offering is a way to escape his shame. Maybe he won’t have to let men touch him to keep warm and supply his addiction. He could stop doing wrong. He hates that and now Jack is giving him a chance which he’s never had before. Jack looks at him with such sincerity that John cannot say no and he slowly nods in agreement. Jack’s hopeful face breaks into a smile that warms John inside out.

“We’ll start small okay. You like putting stuff together right.” John nods in happy agreement and Jack watches as fear turns to interest. “We’ll get your stuff and find you a new home. A place just for you.” Jack would love to know what brought John to Cardiff, what left him so alone and abandoned. Yet, they are questions not even John knows the answer to. Whatever happened it left John so lost and insecure that he was reduced to selling his body. Jack has decided that stops now – John is worth so much more and he’s determined to prove it to him.

“Mine?” John enquires getting a little excited now. “I do know how to look after myself.” He reminds Jack firmly, and Jack smiles knowing that one day he might. Instead of answering he leads John away from his projects and out to the garage to start his new life – and they have a hell of a lot of work to do.

Cleaning out John’s old home is difficult; he is saddened by the marks of violence on the ground floor along with the memories of loss. The bodies have done but the stains remain. The place is deserted as the other tenants ran never to return. 

“I’m sorry about your friend,” Jack offers softly as John stares at the blood stained floor. He touches John’s arm again in consideration and he finds he kind of likes Jack’s touch. Instead of discomfort he finds comfort in Jack’s closeness. 

“He found me, helped me when I couldn’t do anything. He taught me how to care for myself. I’m not sad for Joey – he liked hurting me and pimping me out.” Jack agrees with this assessment, realising Joey must have been John’s primarily pimp and almost wishing to kill him all over again. He was also most likely to the source of John’s drug supply. Soon Jack is going to have to face that decision what to do about John medication as well as future treatment. Jack has noticed he’s already getting a bit hyper. 

“I have a friend nearby who owes an apartment building, let’s try there first.” Jack suggests changing the subject and wanting John out of this dump as quick as possible. He leads John into the completely packed car which was surprising for a man living in only one room. But it’s not personal items – it’s books and equipment along with the homemade chemistry set – Jack finds it very depressing how few personal mementoes John has. His new home isn’t the best place in town, but Jack knows the owner who agrees to rent a one room apartment to John. Jack pays the security and 1st month rent while John looks it over. Jack is quickly learning he’s going to have his hands full just teaching John about everyday life that his last tutor skipped – since, he had no idea what a security deposit was and was a little lost over the bank account. He had also expected to have to give out sex for free for his extra rooms, but thankfully John hadn’t said that in front of his new landlord.

John likes his new home and likes Jack it there too. The older man helped him unload his stuff and even nipped out for pizza. He returned home to find John shooting up but didn’t say anything just ate his pizza and talked about everything else. John had a little pure supply left but soon he’ll have to find a new source. They eat together and talk, John explains about not liking the dark and Jack receives a lesson on astronomy. He doesn’t mind, he likes listening to John speak. There is nothing slow or stupid about John – he might not know what a security deposit was but he understood things beyond even Jack. 

After lunch they returned to the hub and John started working on fixing the place up. Jack knew he really needed to start hiring. John would be his first employee because there was no way he was letting his body nor his mind go. The young man had a rare intelligence that saw answers to problems he didn’t even know the question too. He could build the advanced equipment Jack had without a manual and instinctively knew how they worked. However, John wasn’t the best person to do field work. Field work which included all the running about, fighting killer aliens, investigating and maybe preventing alien forces from attacking earth. That was Torchwood’s mission but Jack didn’t want his young friend hurt in anyway. Jack couldn’t deny that he cared for John far more than a work college, even more than a friend. Yet, he was still unsure about his feelings and John’s after his trauma, now also wasn’t the time and place to pressure him. He decided to get working as technical specialist and see what happens. For the rest of the team Jack hadn’t decided on who would be best to for Torchwood, but very recently he’d met Owen Harper who’d he had helped when his fiancé was infected with an alien bug. He was currently on mental health leave but Jack was seriously considering offering him the position of medical officer. A medical professional might also be able to help with John’s current drug dependency problems.

John was discovering he enjoyed working with Jack and he certainly liked the technologically advanced equipment at the Hub. Jack had sat him down when he officially started worked and told him everything that Torchwood did. John understood, accepted they were not alone in the universe and wonders what all the secrecy was about. He’d given Jack a lecture on the mathematical probability of alien life on other worlds to prove his point. Jack had also given him a lot of studying to do and each morning would quiz him on what he learned. His photographic memory and speed reading proved to be correct each time and Jack was thrilled with his progress. John understood Jack was training him and committed himself to it with singular determination. Soon Jack had no problem believing that John could perform his job as he hoped and was very proud of his commitment. Jack had also ensured that his lessons including everyday life, including getting a bank account and managing his money. It seemed that paying his rent could be done by cheque and the owner didn’t expect sex on demand. John liked that too. What John didn’t seem to enjoy was the fact Jack didn’t touch him anymore – he didn’t take him in the shower or over the desk and John was beginning to fear they weren’t friends anymore. He had become just a job, an object to mould as Jack saw fit. There was one bit problem with John’s continued employment – his drug habit. Jack had tried to cut him down and cut him off completely for a few days but John had been bouncing off the walls literally. Jack had trouble controlling him as his brain seemed to jump into hyper speed and he couldn’t stand still for one second. Jack had done something he had not wanted to but was given little choice – he’d brought John some heroin and watched with relief as the drug took effect. He was going to have to sort this out and soon. 

****

Feb 2005 - The next person to work at Torchwood was Owen Harper and his first task was given to him as soon as he walked through the door. It was his first day at work and it was with trepidation that he entered the Torchwood Hub hidden under the Plass. Today he was going to meet the other member, John who was technical support.

Captain Harkness had helped Owen try and save the life of his fiancé but unfortunately it was too late for her. In one night, Owen had lost everything he had cared about and discovered they were not alone in the universe but unfortunately not all alien life was friendly. After his loss Owen hadn’t know what to do but knew he couldn’t let himself drown in grief forever. While still on medical leave Jack had suddenly appeared on his doorstep and offered Owen a job. Too much had happened for Owen to go back to his old life so he accepted Jack’s offer. Jack had shown him around the Hub as well as informing him of Torchwood’s charter. He learned that the plan was to have a small but specialised team that worked in secrecy to protect humanity from any alien threat. Owen preferred the idea of a small unit as he didn’t feel comfortable around a lot of people. He’d arrived early for work and entered the back way as he’d been shown. As he did so he heard Jack’s voice shouting across the hub.

“John, please just leave it. You don’t need to change it – it’s bright enough,” Jack called with a touch of exasperation as Owen walked in. He jumped a little surprised when Owen said hello but greeted him with a handshake. “I’ll introduce our other team member when he leaves the DAMN light alone!” Jack shouted the last part towards the back of the hub and Owen grins as a young man appears out from behind a desk. There was a desk light in his hand which had been altered to make it overly bright. He set it on the desk and walks over studying Owen as he was some sort of computer virus to eradicate. Owen could tell that they were both unsure about each other, and he understood that type of suspicious mind completely – he didn’t trust anyone either.

“Owen, this is John Smith, he’s our technical specialist,” Jack introduces him to the young man who had to be in his early twenties and Owen recalled Jack had called him a genius. Actually, Jack had talked a lot about John’s amazing abilities and Owen could tell that there was something going on there. “John, this is Owen Harper he’s a medical professional.”

Owen holds outs his hand but John doesn’t take it. “Hi – you like bright lights, yes?” John enquires looking around the dimly lit hub.

“Err...depends.” Owen splutters.

“I don’t like the dark, it’s too dark.” John complains bouncing off fiddle once again.

“He’s...” 

“A little strange?” Jack finishes with a fond smirk. “Yes, he is. But he’s also a genius when it comes to anything technical.”

Owen and Jack watch as the young man moves around the desks fiddling with the lights and getting them to glow brightly with a bit of tinkering. It was rather remarkable.

“John is your first assignment,” Jack informed Owen as he guides him out of the main hub and into medical.

“Why?” Owen asks confused. He had just been considering their obvious friendship and didn’t expect Jack’s comment. He looked around his new space finding it a little small, but well equipped. Jack sat on one of the plastic chairs as Owen continued to discover his space and told him about his first assignment. It was the main reason Jack had brought him here after all – not that he knew that.

“John is a drug-addict.” Jack admits and Owen freezes before turning to stare at him.

“Then how is he working here – you want me to report his habit?”

“No! Nothing like that. I know all about John’s habit and I understand the why. There is something wrong with his brain. I have been researching what might have happened to him and my best guess is that he had some kind of brain surgery a couple of years back and he was left with no memory of his previous life. He was on the streets for a long time, but someone helped him and he’s been self medicating his affliction with purified heroin ever since. He even built a chemistry set to do it right. Owen, I need to find out if he’s been injured or had an illness. Maybe change his medication otherwise I am at a loss on how to help him.”

Owen stares at Jack noting the pride in his voice concerning the young man. Jack likes him – no more than likes him – respects him. The kid has had it tough but he’s a fighter – Owen can admire that too.

“Do you have any idea what type surgery was done?” Owen asks, hopping up onto one of the metal beds to speak to Jack.

“No, neither does he. He doesn’t know his name or where he came from. As far as he knows he came into existence nearly two and a half years ago and that’s it. Whatever happened left him with other side effects – the memory loss is only the start.”

“There some conditions that could do that – it could have been a tumour. What else, you said he self medicates for his problems.”

“Yeah, he’s like a hyperactive child – he hardly sleeps or eats – quite truthfully I’ve never seen him relaxed. He can’t stand still, has this nervous tick where his head or body jerks, his brain seems to be uncontrollable and he can’t keep up. It’s hard to explain. Look, he cannot function without something, I’ve tried that and it didn’t work. I was hoping we could medicate him ourselves or find some other method to help. Owen this kid has one amazing brain, a staggering intelligence and he should be using it to its full advantage. Without a fix its like his mind is burning up and with it he gains clarity.”

“I’ll have to do a full medical on him. Along with seeing this chemistry set,” Owen begins knowing he has no answers yet without researching John himself.

“I don’t know how he’ll take that, but I’ll get him to do it.” Jack replies with an edge of relief as he stands and heads to the door. 

“Owen, he’s a good person – but a little innocent about so many things, just be careful with him.”

Jack leaves and Owen wonders what the hell he’s let himself in for. There is something going on between John and his new boss what he doesn’t understand yet. It is only a few hours later when Owen hears shouting coming down the corridor. It sounds like his first patient’s arrived, thankfully Jack had given him a little time to settle in and organise, but it appeared it was something his boss wanting curing as quickly as possible.

“No, I don’t want being looked at,” John snapped as Jack almost dragged him into medical. The young man was being particularly stubborn and almost fell though the door as Jack delivered him as promised.

“John, it’s necessary, Owen is the new medical officer and he needs to check you over. Everyone has a medical, okay?”

“I kept clean,” John growls at Jack who actually blushes at the implication. Jack desperately looks around the room for a new distraction for John as well as not giving Owen the opportunity to think about what he’s just referred to. Jack didn’t want to discuss anyone’s sex life, certainly not in front of Owen. He thankfully spots a box of medication that Owen must have been arranging into the medical cabinets. He quickly grabs that lifeline and picks up a random bottle.

“Oh, this is new,” Jack pipes up turning John’s attention elsewhere but startling Owen by the sudden change in direction. 

“Not new,” John rolls his eyes and looks over the vials of medicine reacting as Jack wanted. He reads the labels and starts a lecture about new medical research into each one, what the name means and who discovered it. Owen gapes a little dumbfounded by the fast recall and how John likes showing off what he knows in front of Jack. As John talks he observes what Jack mentioned; John’s body is never still, constantly on the move and sometimes there is a sudden jerk in one of his limbs. There are many conditions that could do this but Owen doesn’t know which yet. 

“John, I have this new medical scanner, I’d love to run it over you, and maybe you can tell Jack how it works.” Owen interrupts and the deception seems to work. John is apprehensive at first but he sits and allows Owen to do his job. It takes a while but he manages to run some basic tests and even gets a brain scan from John. Five pm rolls around quickly and they decide to call it day. Jack offers to take John home and maybe let Owen look at his new experiments. John isn’t very thrilled by the idea but allows it. John happily went through his physical as long as his brain was distracted and his attention fixed on something other than the exam. Jack as well as Owen observed that even though John can get a little hyper or manic he was far from violent. It was like what Jack said; his mind worked too fast for him to keep up. Owen hasn’t seen anything like this but then again he’s not a neurosurgeon. However, the only thing that Jack appears to be interested in is helping John manage his condition better.

John’s place isn’t a surprise for Owen, what does surprise him are the touches of Jack that are everywhere. Jack is a very frequent visitor who spends many hours here. He walks in and immediately checks the fridge along with any other important stuff a concerned friend would do. Yep, Jack’s been here a lot. 

John watches Owen carefully as he looks around his home. He’s not sure he likes new people coming here, it’s private and he hasn’t had to use his body for a while now. He’s growing to like the whole not having other people who aren’t Jack touch him. “It’s okay,” Jack comforts, putting a hand on John’s shoulder. He doesn’t mind Jack touching him but no one else. At least Owen has the decency not to touch or mess with any of his stuff which helps. Jack takes interest in John’s chemistry set and asks him to explain how it works. John can do that, he likes talking about things. He gives a full explanation (including equations) to Owen who listens and then bids them goodnight. He now has a full and very in-depth knowledge of John’s medication regime if he wanted one or not. Soon Owen is gone but Jack remains.

“Do you want me to fuck him?” John enquires unsure why Jack brought the other man here. Jack looks up from raiding his fridge and sighs. John has learned that Jack sighs when something upsets him. John has no idea why because Jack hasn’t fucked him for a while now.

“No, I don’t want you to do that with anyone unless you want to.”

“You don’t touch me,” John interjects annoyed. He’s feeling on edge tonight and he really needs to shoot up, but he wants to understand. He doesn’t comprehend why Jack looks at him with obvious lust and want but never touches him. “I am unclean?”

Jack leaves the fridge and crosses the room in a couple of strides to take John into his arms. Sometimes Jack scares him a little; at times he seems so big – so strong. And the whole no-dying thing still confuses him – it doesn’t feel natural or right. Suddenly, he doesn’t care because he’s in Jack’s arms and Jack is kissing him. He opens his mouth letting the intelligent tongue as well as Jack’s arms possess him. He doesn’t enjoy it when other people touch him, but he adores Jack’s passionate embrace. He hadn’t realised or accepted before that he missed Jack’s hands on him – missed that clever mouth and thick cock. The Immortal walks him backwards towards the bed and John grins, wrapping his arms around Jack’s shoulders.

“I don’t like other people touching you,” Jack purrs into his mouth and kisses him again, pulling at his T-shirt and shoving his jeans down. Soon he’s naked against Jack and rubs against him shamelessly. Jack manages to break the kiss and throws him onto the bed instantly between his legs. He touches the un-lubed hole and grins.

“I do like this part,” Jack declares finding some lubricant in John’s bedside drawer. John used to prepare himself quickly and efficiently before leaving his home, never once thinking it could be a very pleasurable part of sex. He gasps as Jack settles between his spread legs and touches him so carefully. Cold lubed fingers press against his anus and push past the tight ring stretching him wide. John whines and writhes as Jack’s fingers fuck him, soon another two follow and Jack thrusts them enjoying John wriggling below him. Just as John is about to beg for more, Jack flips him over and covers his cock with condom before pressing against John’s hole. He never even realised he’d done it, he’d been lost in the pleasure of Jack’s clever fingers and the insistent teasing – he’d not heard Jack unzip and roll protection on. Tonight he is taken hard and fast and John bites his fingers so he doesn’t scream as Jack starts a punishing rhythm. Strong hands grip his thighs and Jack licks around the tattoos on his back and neck sending John deeper into passion and pleasure. He needed this – needed Jack touching him – owning him.

“Can you come just from my cock?” Jack moans into his ear and John shudders as his cock throbs from just the thought. He spreads his legs more, tilting his hips just right and whines when Jack repeatedly hits his gland. He doesn’t touch his dick but let’s Jack fuck him hard as he pants into the bed sheets. His orgasm burns deep in the pit of his stomach and soon explodes as Jack jerks against him filling the condom. Jack withdraws leaving him limp and boneless as he sprawls over the bed. The other man dresses and John wonders about asking him not to – asking him to stay but he’s not sure how he feels about just yet. He likes his space, likes not having someone fuck him to stay here. He almost wishes Jack didn’t know that and respected his privacy; if asked John might have said, “Yes, stay.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jack promises and kisses him goodnight. Jack considers staying just to hold John close but he knows that the kid is nowhere near ready for that. He hasn’t come to appreciate what cuddling and holding could mean and Jack doesn’t want to push. Really he shouldn’t be fucking him either because at times he fears that he is using John the same way others had in his past. Damn, but he wished his relationships weren’t so complicated. He leaves and John stretches out on the bed, trying to hold back the need but soon it wins out. He remains naked and walks into the living room looking for his next fix. His brain is getting a little hay-wired and he wants clarity again. When he can think clearly he’ll try and understand just what Jack means to him. After his medication his skin itches feeling not quite right so he gets out the homemade inking machine and starts a new tattoo on his thigh. Soon the ink will colour his flesh and he’ll feel like it’s his body once again (that it is really his skin.) He marks the itches –he reclaims the places that feel wrong and then he’s okay again.

**** 

Owen sighs as he looks over John’s test results. He doesn’t know what to tell Jack but he’s already decided to help the young man out. He feels bad for him already because whatever happened to him Owen can tell just from a few tests it was bad. No one deserved the hell John had gone though no matter the reason. Jack knocks on his door and enters the lab.

“Have you looked over his results?” Jack asks nervously and Owen notices how tired he appears, mostly likely he’d been up all night worrying just as Jack had done.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry Jack.” Jack freezes, stares at Owen and the look in his eyes can only be described as terrified.

“He’s not going to die!” Owen finishes before Jack panics even more. “I just met I was sorry I cannot give you a full diagnosis.” Jack glares at him in a way that makes him feel five inches tall and regrets his bluntness. Jack certainly has feelings for John – deep ones. Owen sits down and monitions Jack to do the same as he considers his boss. Jack does and waits for Owen to continue. “I don’t like sharing private medical information, Jack but in this case I think its best that you know and maybe also be the one to explain it to John. He trusts you and I can tell he’s a friend.” Jack’s eye twitches with nerves but he only nods asking Owen to continue.

“A lot has happened to that kid Jack, hell I don’t know where to start. He has signs of fractures all over his body, along with deep scarring on both heart and lung tissue. There is a lot of evidence of operations in the past. His brain scan...I think there must have been something very serious, maybe cancer to result in this type of damage. It’s not just the illness though; he’s been hurt seriously at one time. There are signs of recent abuse, some very serious and the scarring he’s been left which has been tattooed over hiding the damage.”

Jack sighs, looking away as he clenches his hands into fists and wishing he could hit someone. Wishing he could kill whoever touched and hurt John. “How long since his brain surgery.”

“Two years I’d say – it is fully healed, but with what looks like a very progressive Cancer he could have a re-occurrence. He will need to be scanned more often. He might have lost his memories due to that; it is certainly a possibility from the amount of damage I found. It could also account for his inability to calm as well as having a brain that appears to wired incorrectly. It’s why he likes his current drug of choice. I was hopeful that we could work out a new medication for him but that could take a while and be a bit hit and miss. However, I’ve studied his filtered product and it’s very clean, that type of self medication might be advisable but I would like to monitor it – I don’t want him increasing or decreasing the amount without supervision.” Owen looks at Jack directly surprised by the warmth in his face over his assessment.

“You’re going to help him,” Jack continues more than a little hopefully.

“Yeah, he’s a good kid Jack.”

Owen likes the big smile Jack shares and almost expects to be hugged, but Jack respects his personal space and instead shakes his hand. “Thanks.”

“Oh, and I’ve done a HIV Test on him, he should get the results in about a month.”

“You know,” Jack freezes. He’d hoped to have kept John’s past from everyone but Owen is far too perspective. Jack has worked hard to stop John revealing too much, not because Jack is ashamed of him but he never wants anyone to judge John unfairly.

“Don’t worry Jack, I’m not going to tell anyone. What he did to survive on the street is his story, but you might get tested too.” Jack only nods never really thinking about diseases because they don’t affect him. He is about to leave before Owen catches his arm, “just one more thing. I’m never going to say this again but if you’re sleeping with him just consider he might not be gay or even bisexual. If he doesn’t know his past he might have been obligated into sleeping with men. He doesn’t remember those teenage years when we start working out who and which sex we are attracted to.” Jack’s whole face darkens and he feels suddenly ill as he stares at Owen but he had to be told even though he was determined never to mention it again. 

Unfortunately, it does leave Jack worried and concerned – what if John didn’t like male sex would that mean Jack had used him...raped him? He says nothing more to Owen but needed to leave and find John just to make sure he’s okay. 

John is making himself tea when Jack arrives. Relief floods Jack at the sight which never fails to warm his heart. He grins at John’s bright face and forces a lighter tone into his voice. “Owen gave you a clean bill of health,” Jack lies, knowing that he just cannot tell him the truth – not yet. He cannot find the words and John isn’t ready to have yet more problems piled onto his plate. It can wait. Today, John looks so happy and relaxed – and Jack doesn’t want to be anywhere else but here.

“Is that good?” John asks not sure why he needs a bill.

“Yeah, it’s good,” Jack answers with a laugh at the confused face. He elbows John in the side and they start the fighting match of the flying elbows. It ends with Jack black and blue from John’s sharp bony elbow but he doesn’t care. John is smiling and happy, that’s all that matters.

********** 

Life for the small Torchwood team continues over the next few months. They are settling in and working well together as well as carrying the responsibilities of their departments. Out in the field, it was usually Jack and Owen, while John worked back up. Jack had invested a lot of time training John for out of office work and he was progressing very well (though at times got a little over excited with his new discoveries.) John’s social graces have improved but he is still awkward around people, still preferring his technology (well, apart from Jack.) Over time Torchwood 3’s collection of Alien Tech was growing along with other unearthly artefacts. One such discovery was a creature thrown out of time and spit out of the Rift – she was a Pterandon who John took a liking too. Jack had reluctantly agreed to allow her to stay only if John cared for her which he did with dedication. 

Owen liked his position at Torchwood and was on the way to making friends with John which he discovered was an achievement in itself. Jack, Owen observed, always remains aloof at work, but he knows it’s an act. He’s seen him clowning around with John enough times to know his brooding act was really just that - an act. John seems to bring all the good things out in Jack, drawing out his fun lighter side and even making him appear to be actually human! At work, Jack is profession and keeps to himself. Owen doesn’t know his secrets, where he’s from and why exactly he needs to dress the way he does, but let’s that one go. Everyone has a right to their secrets. John is a different story, as you get to know him it’s like he’s two different people. He’s got the ability to put on a face that hides what he’s thinking and feeling completely fooling you. Owen recognises it as distancing tactic, probably used when he tried to cope with the trauma of the last two years and losing his memory. However at times Owen sees the real person hidden beneath – He’s a little insecure and childlike in the way Jack described him once. He has an innocence which is very refreshing and Owen has never met anyone like John. He also likes because Jack was right, the kid was a genius. 

At work John can be driven and absorbed in his projects. His body has to be always on the move, while his mind constantly works on every problem you could think of. He reads books on every subject because he notices that he’s not as efficient at social skills or field work unlike Jack or Owen but is slowly learning. Jack loves his curiosity and drive, while Owen enjoys seeing the childlike wonder he has. He tries to hide it, but he can’t help revealing it at times – something new will catch his eye and it’s a joy to observe as he makes new discoveries.

For a little while the team of three became that of four and the new member was named Suzie Costello. That lasted for about a week when John discovered her dangerous activities with an artefact called the Resurrection glove. In the end, Jack had shot her in self defence and the team became three once again.

Owen kept careful records of John’s medication levels and tests the drugs as Jack buys it. He doesn’t ask where it comes from, he doesn’t want to know Jack’s contacts but John’s filtering worked very effectively and he only needs a small amount of a the pure substance. It’s not ideal but Owen is unsure what to use next. He’s seen John’s hyper self and it’s not a pretty sight. He’s considered making the drug himself but is unsure how Jack will feel about producing an illegal substance at Torchwood. Using an outside supplier also meant that his secret was only known by the three of them.

Apart from minor difficulties the new Torchwood team works well and everyone learns to appreciate John’s incredible mind. Jack doesn’t like him leaving the office, but with his technical abilities he makes up for it in other areas. John gets over excited with any new alien technology and before Jack can stop him, it’s taken it apart. worked out its inner works and given a report detailing how it was used. Sometimes Jack wonders if he should take John to London to see the alien tech Torchwood 1 has stored there but quite honesty he really dislikes the woman running it. He would hate for her to get her claws into a simple trusting mind as John’s. She’d have him working out alien weapons without him even realising it and Jack believes that is not Torchwood’s mission. Its mission is to protect the earth – not to kill innocent humans or aliens. Oh, and another thing John had managed to create - an amazing invisible lift inside the Hub leading directly outside which left Jack speechless and vowing never to let anyone abuse that incredible mind again. It also have him an opportunity to tell John about the Doctor, which he did and found his friend strangely jealous.

Soon it’s Christmas 2005 and Jack hadn’t touched John again. He doesn’t know how to broach the subject of John’s sexuality at all. He visits his home, spends a lot of time with him but doesn’t touch him sexually. Sometimes Jack notices the flashes of hurt in John’s eyes when he leaves after a night at his place, but the thought of hurting John takes away any arousal he might have. In London on Christmas Day a Sycorax battleship loomed over the city and Jack discovered that the Doctor has regenerated. He knows it’s just after he’d been abandoned in the future and Jack is still angry at him, but he’s also relieved he is okay. Jack had only seen him from a distance on a security camera but he’d been amazed to find out the old legends of Time Lords being able to change their entire body was true. This tenth version of the Doctor did indeed look damn good. While there, Jack ensures that the Doctor’s amputated hand did not end up in the hands of Torchwood 1 leader, Yvonne Hartman. Jack dreaded to think what she could do with that much Time Lord DNA samples. A couple of days later he returns home with a hand in a jar which he keeps in his office. The next morning John arrives at work with a strange tattoo that curls around his right wrist and hand. 

“I don’t like it,” John comments as he sits in Jack’s office staring at his breakfast and occasionally nervously glancing over at the new hand tucked away in the corner. 

“It’s very important,” Jack tells him not wanting John to really look into the hand, because basically he doesn’t want his friend anywhere near Doctor trouble. “I’m keeping it for its owner.”

John shivers at the idea but thankfully doesn’t touch it. He avoids it completely but Jack just puts it down to complete dislike of strange body parts. 

“New tattoo,” Jack observations admiring the lines of barbed wire that runs around John’s wrist, over his hand and encircle a couple fingers.

“It itches,” John answers absently sipping his tea. Jack doesn’t get why John does the work himself but has learned to understand that sometimes John’s body doesn’t feel like his own. He wonders if the Doctor felt as John did two years ago, finding himself in a strange body, but at least the Doctor knew who and what he was – John did not. Truthfully Jack has grown to love John’s unique markings and would love to discover the new one with his tongue. The tattoos are important to John and usually have significant meanings to him. John doesn’t share what but Jack gets the idea of trying to make one’s body their own again – at times his immortal form felt a little too alien and different to him too.

“Nice Christmas?” Jack asks only to have John stare at him blankly. John doesn’t get Christmas along with a lot of normal stuff, but Jack takes it in his stride. It’ not like he grew up with these customs either. John remembers nothing of a childhood or any past celebrations.

“I recalibrated the rift manipulator.” Jack’s not sure if to laugh or sigh because John has worked through another holiday once again. He doesn’t understand the concept of needing a break away or the necessity of rest. At times Jack had taken John home, forcing him to sleep because he’d been on the edge of collapse. John aversion to inactivity is stronger than the need to sleep. John looks around Jack’s office a moment considering what he wants to say and decides to just come out with it. “Why don’t you fuck me anymore?”

Jack splutters and coughs as he was just in the middle of drinking his tea and stares at the young man with open disbelief (as well as hint of horror never thinking John might actually call him on his distance.) 

“I just...err... I don’t think it’s appropriate, “Jack manages to spit out after clearing his throat.

“Why, you like it. I like you.”

Jack sighs at John simple way at looking at it – it’s not so straight forward however. In fact his continued lust and desire for John has lead Jack into many sleepless nights, while at the same time he doesn’t want to hurt or abuse him. Therefore he’d kept away from sex with John hoping the problem would sort itself out. He should have realised that wasn’t going to happen.

“John, do you like men, sexually?” Jack asks bluntly, taking a leaf from John’s book, deciding to be very truthful about this.

“I don’t like anyone’s sex...” John answers not sure what Jack is trying to ask. “Men liked fucking me and I stayed warm.”

“Do you like women?” John curls his nose in way which was incredibly cute and doesn’t need to answer that.

“You think you’re using me?” John snarls at Jack with a flash of insight and the thought annoys him. That is unusual for John - with machinery and other technical stuff his mind works perfectly but relationships, emotions and everything else it all feels a little too alien to him. He just doesn’t get it most of the time. He doesn’t understand Jack’s thinking but he wants to. He wants to know Jack in so many different ways while with everyone else he’s really not bothered.

“John, you were used by men because you needed the money. You don’t know if you liked them before you lost your memory. If we sleep together, I don’t know if you want to be there – that what we do is something you enjoy doing.” Jack rubs his head, hating his conversation and wishing it had never happened. He was happy just being with John and over the last few months accepted that it would be best not to touch John again. That decision had been the hardest of Jack’s life, keeping that promise has been so troublesome because John is exactly what Jack wants in a lover. He wants to touch and hold and kiss – he wants to possess John completely. There had been other lovers recently but none of them were the one person he wanted. Even as he fucked them it was John’s body he imagined, John’s mouth he kissed. Jack attempts to leave, standing up from his desk to cross the room but John prevents his escape. Jack doesn’t put up a fight and allows John to corner him, pressing against him with that lovely solid body. He forces him against the wall and Jack is lost in pure lust. 

“I like you, Jack. I like it when you touch me. Kiss me,” John purrs into his ear. Jack moans with arousal his cock gets hard so fast it makes his head spin. The trouble is Jack really doesn’t want to resist him; he wants this with every fibre of his being no matter how wrong it might be. Jack surrenders, giving up the battle and kisses John as if his life depended on it. John crushes him against the wall and Jack grinds against the hard length pressed to his. Their pleasure doesn’t go beyond the frantic rubbing of clothed bodies but they come so quickly, having been starved of touch for so long they had no desire to hold back. They came from hot deep kisses, clutching hands and joined hips – messy, dirty but oh, so perfect. They are still holding each other minutes later, oh so tightly as they catch their breath and calm again. Jack finds there is nothing better than John’s weight against him, along with the hot willing mouth and a devil of a tongue.

“I like you too, John,” Jack admits, holding his lover close and still sharing soft gentle kisses. “But we need to take this slowly. You are my best friend, John and I don’t want to lose that.”

John strokes his face and kisses him again just relieved to be back in Jack’s arms. He’s not sure he gets all of Jack’s problems but he likes the idea of being his friend. “Will you kiss me?”

Jack grins knowing now he’s tasted John’s lips again no force of nature could stop him coming back for more. “How about we date for a while. Not during work,” he stresses when John smiles up at him, “we have to be profession here but away – at your home...we could do stuff....”

“Okay – at work you are my friend.” John confirms making Jack’s heart ache. “At home, you kiss me.”

“Yeah,” Jack moans, pulling the young man’s mouth down to his and working his tongue back into his mouth. Yes, he knows they shouldn’t be doing it here but it’s been too long and neither can stop even if they wanted to. 

*********

June 2006 is one of the worst months in Jack’s life. In London the Battle of Canary Wharf rages and people die. Jack feels powerless and his heart breaks when he learns of Rose Tyler’s death. He goes to London during the cleanup operation and lays flowers for her. It isn’t long after when Jack meets Ianto Jones who once worked at Torchwood 1. He survived the Cybermen attacks unfortunately his girlfriend Lisa hadn’t been so lucky. In Cardiff Ianto saves Jack from a Weevil attack and asked for a job. He was rejected until one day when John’s Pteranodon escaped Ianto ensured her safe recapture, in relief John finally accepted his offer to work for Torchwood once again. Jack would have agreed in the end, he liked the young man’s attention and persistence. 

Ianto it turns out is a very good administrator and immediately takes over the archives and filing. John never goes near those places since he totally doesn’t get the whole paperwork/filing thing. His paperwork is usually illegible and he forgets what he’s writing about. Jack didn’t hire him for that however, but for his brilliance with technology. Ianto isn’t impressed with John and they really don’t start of on the right foot. Basically it went like this: Ianto arrived his first day to discover the kitchen in a mess which he organised – much to the horror of John when he arrived to make his morning tea.

“He touched it!” John complained to Jack very loudly as Owen held back the giggles. Jack sighed and once again pushed John back down into the seat. They were in Medical attempting to take a blood sample to check John’s drug levels.

“I’ll explain it to him again,” Jack promises, trying to get John to calm. “Please tell me you read that relationship book I found you.”

“It’s boring. I took apart the Zyong synthesiser instead – I told you it was a musical instrument.”

“You also promised to read the book,” Jack reiterates. He’d been afraid of this; John had grown use to Owen’s reserved attitude while Ianto was so much better at social interaction. At this moment they are each getting under the other’s skin and Jack knows he’s going to have a complaint later about John’s atrocious reporting from Ianto.

“I will,” John replies sulkily knowing that in the end he’ll read it because he trusts Jack’s judgement and not because he likes Ianto. “I just don’t get this touching feely stuff.”

“You had damage to important parts of your brain, John,” Owen interrupts. “It will mean relearning quite a few things including how to deal with other people.”

“Just don’t ask if he wants to fuck you,” Jack moans. John can at times comment without thinking – it’s usually so damn honest or at times inappropriate. Jack likes that honesty from John, but it can lead him into trouble or misunderstands.

“Does he?” John instantly jumps up again looking worried. He doesn’t like touching – other people touching him, his stuff...Jack, yes, but no one else.

“Jack is being obnoxious,” Owen soothes him staring at Jack fully annoyed. He doesn’t get why Jack doesn’t just tell John he wants him or even loves him - the two of them have been flirting around each other for months. It’s perfectly obvious after working with them a while that Jack doesn’t like anyone coming near John and quite enjoys being the centre of his universe. John is thankfully distracted by the word ‘obnoxious’ and starts an interesting talk on where the word originated. Both Owen and Jack give each other a relieved grin. 

****

June becomes July but the standoff between John and Ianto continues. Ianto likes being with Jack and John doesn’t like it at all. He feels completely inadequate around Ianto. Ianto is pretty, young, and sensitive. He has this calming accent to his voice; he makes Jack smile and John feels lost. He isn’t like Ianto; he doesn’t have his gentle eyes, his clean-cut butter would not melt in his mouth attitude either. John doesn’t know the right words to ease hurt feelings or to reveal he really does empathise with other people. He feels them but he doesn’t know how to say it – not like Ianto does. He doesn’t have the great big puppy dog eyes that can look up adoringly at Jack. Let’s face it – he’s not in the slightest like Ianto – they are as different as an acid and an alkaline. 

Sometimes he wonders if it’s for the best that Jack moves on. John is used goods. He’s had lots of people touch him, fuck him and he didn’t know them. He knows Ianto didn’t – wouldn’t have done that. He’s young and pure and John just isn’t. He’s been on the streets, he has sharp edges and his body shows the marks of violence and pain. His skin stained with tattoos and past hurts, while he knows Ianto’s would be smooth, naked and soft. Ianto is unmarked by the world – while John is still living with the consequences, his body daily polluted by the drugs that enables him to live with other people. Ianto would be so much better for Jack so he slowly draws back, not inviting him home and not kissing his soft lips.

July also brings the arrival of Police Woman Constable Gwen Cooper. She first came to John’s attention when she looked up official wartime records he’d flagged for one Captain Jack Harkness, an American volunteer in the Royal Air force and who was declared missing, presumed dead back in 1941. John had discovered that information during his research, but never for a moment believed that Jack and he was the same person. He had however insured the website was tagged in case anyone else started researching their strange leader. There were a few things Jack kept to himself, including where he came from, who he really was, why he didn’t die, why sometimes John felt this strange wrongness about him and why he’d never ever let John mess with his watch. He knew it was something more; some kind of computer but it was totally off limits. Because he liked Jack he abided by the rules, everyone else was fair game.

The young police officer was very intrepid and even discovered the hub underneath the Millennium centre. She had arrived with Pizza which John didn’t like, but was ordered by Ianto who looks after the false front to Torchwood – the Tourist Information centre. Gwen seems to take learning about Torchwood secrets in her stride and meets a Weevil for the first time. John hates the creatures but while he lived on the streets they never bothered him, always running the other way as if they instinctually knew that he was something different - wrong. Jack takes to the young police woman and her courage. John sees that immediately the way Jack just looks at people and gets a glint in his eye when they fascinate him. 

Later that night Jack returns to the hub without her. He makes tea for John and just sits watching him take apart another piece of salvaged extraterrestrial technology washed up by the dimensional rift.

“You liked her,” John comments after everyone has left. He occasional wonders if Jack knows about their indiscretions. John doesn’t understand how he works these things out but he knows that Owen uses a pheromone spray to fuck people and Ianto is testing out pieces of alien technology that reconstitutes life. Sometimes, he wished he didn’t see anything. John did like Gwen more than Jack’s last choice of employee and finds her cheerful disposition refreshing. He knows Jack is also attracted to her and he worries he’ll have another contender for Jack’s affections. 

“It was best,” Jack answers just watching John work. John lets it go and cherishes this time with Jack.

The next day the young woman is back and finally the Team have a new member. With the arrival of Gwen, Jack decides the team is complete and doesn’t want more people involved. More people could equal the same problems they had at Torchwood 1 and the terrible abuses of power. He also considered John, adding more people would have made things increasingly difficult for his friend. Building a relationship with three new people was enough stress for John, never mind the fact that he got jealous when John made connections with someone else. John got anxious around too many people and the hub was really his safe place so Jack didn’t want to upset that (or so he told himself.) Out of all his team mates it was John and Gwen who seemed to know more about Jack. Both knew he couldn’t die – Gwen had seen him shot on their first meeting and John had experienced it too. Sometimes Jack wished he could explain more, especially to John but the young man allowed him his secrets. The others on the team seemed to get the idea that he was a man out of time (which he was) but his time was the 1940’s (which it wasn’t.) If they believed that, he thought, didn’t they ever wonder when they got confused with John’s technobabble Jack understood it perfectly or notice Jack’s strange knowledge of things out of time? 

John understood all too well the importance of hiding his feelings and thoughts – to put on a mask when dealing with people. Thankfully with Jack he no longer needed to do that and Jack preferred it that way. Sometimes Jack became annoyed with the others when they treated John differently. Yes, he wasn’t like the general populace and had problems but in him Jack saw no end of wonders. He was someone Jack liked to talk to, but over time it seemed as if John was pulling away from him. Jack feared it was because he’d discovered he wasn’t really into men and was trying to let Jack down gently. Jack was certainly aware of Ianto interest in him and the strange commitment the new administrator had to him. However, he could see that Ianto and John were not the best of friends, but they managed to work together.

When Gwen arrived she wasn’t so sure what to do with the young technical specialist. She could see that he was very intelligent but was withdrawn from the rest of the team. He talked to Owen, avoided Ianto and was extremely polite but distant to her. She had tried to speak to him, but John didn’t like discussing himself and preferred to stick purely to the business at hand.  
John decided that over time he’d get used to Gwen but he didn’t like Ianto. The young man stuck to Jack and seemed to be constantly around him. John knew he had no rights to Jack, they touched occasionally and that was all. Sometimes he felt so alone while he was surrounded by other people, since no-one understood him like Jack. He found he was good at his job, he liked the technology, the alien discoveries and Jack never demanded he leave Torchwood. 

Soon however, something was going to crack.


	3. The Episode Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Jack get closer while they work on a influx of missions.

***** (Timeline Note: set after Cyberwoman incident.)***

John had known all along that Ianto Jones had been keeping secrets for he understood that all too well. He kept so many secrets that only Jack and sometimes Owen learned about. In comparison Ianto had no-one and that left John feeling guilty. It appeared that Ianto Jones had been covertly keeping a cyber-conversion unit and his half-converted girlfriend Lisa Hallett, locked in a basement storage area. Unfortunately for Lisa the cyber conversion had already affected her mind and she tried to either build a new cyber army or download her mind into someone completely flesh and blood. John appreciated that somewhere in her mechanical heart strong, powerful emotions still existed but they had been twisted by the cruelties of what had been done to her body. She lost her life in the end and John felt responsible. He knew he wasn’t but just wished he’d found a way to stop the Cybermen getting into this world...a shiver past through John as he considered his last thought. He was doing that occasional - thinking things or seeing something that made no sense to him but was familiar. As though he’d lived another life and was in fact a whole different person. 

The whole team was hurt by the betrayal and Ianto was temporally suspended from active duty to return at his discretion. Jack had said his love for Lisa had clouded his judgement and he made some serious mistakes. Later when Jack had seen John at this work station, he knew he too would have done the same thing and his anger at Ianto lessened. Strangely before Ianto left, John had told him how sorry he was and the younger man had hugged him tightly. It made John very uncomfortable but his empathy created a new root for their growing association. Jack thought he’d never see the day but slowly they were becoming friends. Recent events had opened his eyes to both their actions – there was a tension between them and Jack realised it was because of him. Jack accepted that he had to work on his relationship with Ianto, rebuild trust and help heal his terrible grief, but he also had to make it clear that he wasn’t available no matter how much he wanted to comfort Ianto. He loved John, yes Jack now recognised that he had been pulling away, giving him an opportunity to be with Ianto but at that moment he knew where his heart truly belonged. He wanted John and will do anything and everything to prove it. They would not say it yet, and Jack knew that he will prefer their relationship to be kept private from everyone else. He wasn’t ashamed but what he felt for John was his own business and no-one else’s. Lately he’d been too fresh with people, especially Ianto and had given him ideas about a liaison that could never be. He’d hurt both of them and created stresses that only now were healing. Ianto was his friend, but John was more – he was his lover.

“Does grief heal?” John asks when everyone has left for the night leaving them alone in the Hub. They would usually share dinner or go to John’s apartment but tonight, Jack had dragged him to his bed and kept him there. The sex had been long and tender, more about touching and owning that anything else. He wanted to prove to himself that John was perfectly fine, but also show the other man how much he was wanted and that he was Jack’s choice.

“It takes time,” Jack replies, snuggling closer to his lover and stroking the tattooed skin of his belly.

“I should have been more considerate,” John announces being uncommonly perspective. “He was hurting, but I was afraid of him and ignored his pain.”

Jack’s heart clenches at the admission of John’s jealously, but also the depths of his wonderful giving soul. John has forgiven Ianto while it will take everyone else a little while longer. He might not be so great at the touchy feely stuff but sometimes he does get it right. 

“We’ll help him heal, love.” The word is a slip of Jack’s tongue and he feels John tense beside him, before he’s suddenly being squeezed with powerful arms and a desperate mouth searching for his. Jack grins’, knowing his word had been accepted and kisses John back with just as much passion. This time the sex is hot and steamy, passionate and fulfilling. Jack knows he’s made the right decision; he loves John and over time will prove it. They have time to be together, to build a strong relationship and Jack will have plenty of opportunities to tell him how he feels.

***Timeline note: Set after Captain Jack Harkness incident ****

Jack cannot wait to leave the Hub. He and John had just returned from the past, 1941 to be exact. Time travel was damn amazing but at times also problematic. Jack was furious for Owen’s stupidity for opening the rift but had he not Jack would have never met the man whose identity he’d stolen. Jack was honoured to meet him, John was amused but it was a meeting that was destined to draw them closer together.

The real Captain Jack Harkness had danced with Jack at the end before the rift reopened and told him something. Told him to go and get what he loved the most. He’d looked at John and Jack understood perfectly what he meant. In 1941 you held onto all you had and Jack had been wasting time in this man’s view. You could die at any time, on any mission so you fought for what you wanted and never to let go. He’d made up Jack’s mind. Afterwards they had been returned to their own time and Jack had finished cleaning up the mess Owen made – he’d show John that. 

Jack accepted that yes, he did like Ianto Jones a lot. Might love him but he really wanted John. What he had with John was unique and lasting, they were friends but also lovers in every sense of the word. He shared everything with John and it had become routine, but he suddenly realised how very special the gift he’d been given was. In 1941, he would have been like so many couples and married John that day, never wanting to let him go. Now he was determined to prove that. So finally when everyone had gone home and Owen’s wound had been treated, Jack dragged John to his car and drove them straight to his apartment. John was a little bemused by Jack’s actions but followed his partner’s lead. They hadn’t spoken about what happened but all Jack did when he entered his home was turn on the digital radio to find a station that played 1940’s dance music. John was catching on as Jack threw off his great over coat, rolled up his sleeve and held out a hand. John blushed brightly, but took Jack’s hand and was pulled into his embrace.

“I’ve been wanting to do this all night,” Jack whispers, holding John close as they attempt to waltz around the living room. Jack can dance but it appears John has two left feet, but neither care. “I wanted to hold you, touch you. I want you to be mine, always.”

John smiles brightly and leans in to kiss Jack’s welcoming mouth. Words are unimportant between them; they know each other so well that they don’t need to be said. John knows he belongs only to Jack, he always has done and there is no one else even on his radar. Jack wants to show him that while yes he likes Ianto, John is the one he wants in his bed. There is no other he desires to share that intimacy with – not now, and never again.

Jack waltz’s him into the bedroom, dancing as he strips of John’s clothing and lays him on the bed as though he’s a precious jewel. John blushes as Jack kisses him, starting at his feet and working his way up. Every scar and tattoo get their own special healing kiss or lick as Jack works his way up. He by-passes John’s groin instead kissing up his chest, over his arms and finally ending at his mouth. Jack loves his mouth. Wide, wet and wild. Overtime John has become a very efficient kisser, especially after all Jack’s lessons and now when they touch lips he can bring Jack to his knees with desire.

“Jack please,” John whines as Jack moves back to fling off his own clothing scattering them around the room. He’s hard already and he wants inside of John. 

“Can I take you tonight without a condom?” Jack asks as his hands stroke up John’s legs pushing them apart. Jack knows there have been no other lovers for John and diseases aren’t a problem for Jack. 

“Yes, I want to feel you come inside me,” John agrees, making Jack moan with anticipation. Jack encourages him onto his front, before moving back between his legs and stroking the pale toned cheeks. He parts them with his hands finding the tight little hole and laving it with his tongue. John makes lovely little moans, real moans since Jack can tell the difference between fake and true after all this time. He hardens his tongue and pushes into the welcoming hole, making John gasp and shiver under his hands. John is so beautiful like this – open, vulnerable and all Jack’s. John trusts him with everything and Jack finally understands how precious that is. Precious because what John gives him is the truth.

“Jack,” he whines, shuddering and reaching down to grab his hard throbbing cock. Jack bats his hands away and returns to stretching the tight ring of muscle. He lubricates his fingers, first fitting in one, then two before stretching him wider with three. John is so tight again and Jack can’t wait to be inside. He slicks his cock, pressing into the tiny hole making them both yelp as Jack lodges his cock deep inside his lover with one long thrust. He pulls John up, into his arms and holds him tightly. John spreads his legs a little more, relaxing back into Jack’s body feeling the heavy thick heat within him. He likes it this way now. He likes how connected he feels with Jack, sitting in his lap with that massive dick stuffing him full. Like this Jack has full access to his body, touching and stroking, kissing and licking but most of all – he can reach John’s lovely long cock. Jack starts to move with quick gabbing thrusts as John moans into his mouth. He cannot stop kissing those lovely lips, swallowing John’s gasps has his hands move down to stroke his groin. John reaches behind him, holding Jack close as those clever hands stroke over his belly to take hold of his cock. Jack’s hands are strong, large and a little rough from work but to John they are perfect. They cup and stroke him in all the right places. Jack wraps his fingers around the dripping length and brings him off with quick violent jerks so unlike the movements of his cock. John is already panting, gasping as his passion reaches higher and higher until he screams Jack’s name and comes covering his hands.

He’d had never heard John scream before from pleasure and it set of a river of desperation coursing though Jack. He pushed his lover forward back onto his kneels, forcing his shoulders into the bed as he pounded into the tight ass. It was hard, fast and dirty which had John crying with pleasure and Jack yelled in return as he came filling the hot passage. He almost came a second time when he remembered there was no condom and John’s private place was flooded with his semen. Even when he withdrew he couldn’t stop touching that little hole, watching the liquid leak out before pushing it back in with his fingers or his tongue. John was a shivering moaning mess when he came for the second time, finally collapsing onto the bed.

“I like you, Jack. I like your thick cock inside me. I don’t want anyone else. It’s a nice cock.” John babbles as Jack takes him into his arms, lying back on the bed and moulding their bodies together to enjoy the afterglow. It is another enjoyable sexual habit Jack has taught him and John loves the times when they just hold each other. However, it’s a little embarrassing at times because John is a big babbler after sex. He blurts out the most truthful things, completely honest and open with all his thoughts, but that is what Jack finds to be the most wonderful part of making love with John. Afterwards it’s his favourite part to hold him close, stroking the warm body, while John talks and sings his praises.

“You could have a model made and then I’d tell everyone how much I like it. Thick and lovely. Oh, and I’m so wet inside – covered with your come. I like your come inside me. A little sticky and I shall have to wash the sheets but it’s nice. Can I suck you later? I want to taste it – will it feel the same? Are you hard? I want it again, thick and hot inside me. Your wet heat dripping down my legs, marking me...”

*** Timeline Note: After End of Days incident and Jack has followed the Doctor to Utopia***

Jack has vanished but John has a very good idea where he is – however he doesn’t share that information with the rest of the team. The Doctor’s hand has gone and John knows Jack has been waiting for him for a very long time. Jack speaks occasionally about his past to John, usually in bed after sex when he likes to hold him close. John has learned to like those times, when it’s just the two of them, warm and sated. John freaked after Abaddon nearly killed Jack and he was dead for days after until finally he woke up. John never doubted he’d recover, but feared not having him with him but his senses had told him that Jack’s timeline was almost constant – death wasn’t in his future. He really didn’t understand what he was seeing, it couldn’t be explained scientifically but John had learned to trust his senses during his time working with Torchwood.

Now Jack was gone, the team was so angry and hurt, but John had no doubt he’d come back. Jack needed answers and the Doctor was the only one who could help. So he waited for Jack to return and carried on his work.

“John, I have some bad news,” Owen tells him one night after everyone has left. No one knows about John’s past or his addiction, but Owen has been monitoring it ever since they first met. 

“I know...” John answers strangely, giving Owen an ominous feeling.

“Your medication isn’t working so well and I think we need to increase the dosage. I had wished to talk to Jack!” Owen catches his anger and forces it back again, like Gwen he feels as if Jack has abandoned them. “The last scan showed shadows on your heart, lungs and brain...Oh god, John I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Owen,” John replies calmly knowing the truth. He’d caught glimpses of his own ending, maybe he’ll have another year but not much longer. He wants to spend what time he has here with Torchwood and especially with Jack.

“John, we can set up treatment, there might be a chance,” Owen pleads hurting for his friend and how easily John appears to accept his fate.

“I don’t want to,” John tells him firmly, dark green eyes looking into his and Owen sees a strength he’s only glimpsed at before. “I don’t want more surgery like last time. I don’t want to lose my memories again. No, Owen not again. Also you don’t tell Jack – I can ask that right? You don’t have to tell him about my medical condition.”

“I...I—No, I don’t. Not if it doesn’t interfere with your work. Okay, we’ll increase the dosage and I want to scan you every other month.”

“Thank you, Owen,” John replies giving him a heartbreaking smile and turns back to his work. Owen waits surprised how calmly John has taken this but maybe he’s always know deep down it might happen again. John has already thought about this possibility and he has chosen his path. Owen can do nothing but accept his decision, he might not like it but he will abide by John’s wishes.

***Timeline note: Set after Dead Man Walking incident***

There is something missing in John’s memories and he doesn’t like it. The last few weeks have been difficult for him especially with the death of Owen Harper and he’s had to keep his worsening condition to himself. However, Owen returned but he was no longer Owen. John couldn’t stand to be around him feeling so cold and dead. Whatever he is – to John’s senses he was the biggest type of wrong and tore the universe apart around him. He should not exist, but John tries to be okay with it because everyone else is so damn happy to see him back. Off course none of them thought of the problems his non-living state would cause him and it was making them reconsider the wisdom of bringing back the dead. 

The worse part actually wasn’t Owen for John it was the arrival from UNIT of Dr Martha Jones. He immediately liked the young woman and found her fascinating but along with her appearance John started to have strange dreams. He wasn’t sure what they meant because they weren’t memories of his past but an alternative future. Jack had told him some details about the year that never was - as he called it. It had taken a while for him to open up, but he needed to share the pain with someone and John had similar experiences of rape, torture and abuse. It had been a very difficult time for them, but Jack leaned on John’s strength every day. John survived and so could he.

The problem with John’s memories was about the one Jack called the Master. He knew that he had honestly never met him but sometimes remembered how the Master felt inside him, touching him – at times he could even smell him. John felt him on his skin, crawling inside him and he remembered hearing Jack’s pleads for the Master to stop. The Master called him an abomination, an impossibility that was even worse than Jack’s freakiness. The worse part about his dreams is that he died. Jack had been begging for his life, but the Master cut him so deep, hurt him too much and he’d felt his lifeblood drip away. Death had been so cold and alone, but then he’d wake up and find Jack beside him. 

“Do you want to talk about it,” Jack whispered feeling John awaken in a panic. The nightmares terrified him more than he’d ever admit. Jack had lived that year and knew the truth – something he will never share with another living soul. The bastard Master had tortured and killed John right there in front of him and Jack couldn’t save him. It was then Jack knew he loved John in a ‘committed relationship’ way and when he returned home he wasn’t going to let go.

“No, it’s just bad memories,” John answers but Jack knows the truth. He doesn’t know how or why but John remembers hints of that forgotten future – the year that never was. 

John rolls back into Jack’s embrace letting his lover hold him and considers his new tattoo. He’d done it the night before over his right side, just where the Master had stabbed him that last time. There were two dragons curled together, protecting each other but also separated. John remembers something else from that year – he remembers an old man who told him not to be afraid and that one day everything will be okay. He felt a kinship with him, but he didn’t know who he was but knew he spoke the truth. Sometimes he wondered if he was his father or a close relative, because it felt like he’d known this man all his life and he’d always been looking out for him. He and the old man from his dreams were the dragons, ready to fight but connected in ways John couldn’t understand.

***Timeline note: Set after Something Borrowed incident/Gwen’s Wedding Day***

The wedding was over and it was a shame most of the guests would not remember it after the Retcon champagne. It was difficult and messy but finally Gwen managed to get married. After the marriage Gwen didn’t aim her bouquet quite right and it landed in John’s lap. He was horrified not knowing what to do with the damn thing so Jack quickly relieved him off it and gave it to a bridesmaid who beamed happily. Jack had forgotten that John didn’t have memories of any of these types of occasions and he found the whole business rather strange if not completely alien. However, to make it up Jack had got a suite for them at the hotel and he was determined to lick strawberries and cream off his skin later.

“Sorry to leave you with this clean up operations,” Gwen tells Jack as they prepare to leave for the honeymoon.

“Don’t worry, tonight I’m delegating,” Jack replies with a happy grin, he’s almost giddy with want and he looks over at John, desire burning in his eyes.

Gwen feels a little uncomfortable about how obvious Jack has started to be with his affections for John. She likes the young man, he’s very clever and great at his job, but she has concerns.

“Jack, maybe you should slow it down...my err...friend at the police station told me he’d been arrested for prostitution a couple of years back...I don’t want you to get hurt...”

“Gwen, I know. I know all about his past, there is nothing he hides from me. I paid twice for us to have sex. But this isn’t about that – John did that to survive it isn’t who he is. I really lo-like him. I like spending time with him, talking with him, and the touching part is just a benefit. A really good benefit which leads to mind blowing sex,” Jack watches Gwen’s face wince and knew that was too much information. “Gwen, I feel for him what you feel for Rhys.”

“Oh Jack, I’m sorry, I should not have interfered. I am so glad you’re happy. Enjoy your weekend.” Gwen leaves and Jack wonders why anyone would reject John because of his past. He had no choice to do what he did and it wasn’t as if he’d enjoyed it – John referred that no-one touched him...apart from Jack. He’s thankful that he’s already assigned Ianto and Owen to clean-up. He wants time with John – especially today.

“Are you okay?” John asks nervously appearing at his side and taking hold of his hand. That show of affection is unusual for John and Jack can tell this day has left him more than a little apprehensive.

“Yeah, now you’re here,” Jack purrs, kissing John’s soft mouth as he blushes. People stare and glance but Jack doesn’t care. “Want to go and have our own wedding celebration?” John smile brightens Jack’s whole day and he grabs his hand dragging him away from everyone else and to their room. They are kissing before Jack can even open the door and he plasters his love against the hard surface as he fights to open it. His erection throbs, wanting freedom and into that tight hot place it loves so much. Finally, the door swings open and they stubble in.

“John, John,” Jack repeats, wanting to say more but the words get caught in his throat. Anyhow, John isn’t interested in words, he wants to touch and hold more than speaking. They tear at each other’s clothing until naked they collapse on the bed. 

“Take me on my back Jack, press me down,” John begs, kissing Jack’s lips and moving down to suck on his neck. Jack cannot resist the order as he rolls them so John is beneath. Long strong legs curl around his hips and Jack groans with desire. They haven’t been using condoms for a while now; they only share their bodies with each other so it doesn’t matter to them anymore. John loves the feel of Jack’s naked flesh within him; the wet rush of come when he comes and when he sucks Jack down he can savour the taste of him. Lubed fingers quickly find John’s hole, pressing against him roughly, opening him wide because Jack cannot wait any longer. There will be time for slow and sensual sex later, but right now he want to be connected to John. A thick cock follows and John whines as Jack’s thickness stretches him wide, driving his arousal with both pleasure and a hint of pain. Jack lifts his legs higher over his shoulders, his body weight shoving John into the mattress and he starts to thrust.

“Jack! Oh Jack! Deeper! Harder, I want to feel you fill me,” John moans. Jack hasn’t worked out how he does it – for him sex is panting and moans because it’s damn hard to make up sentences when your brain is being fried. John on the other hand talks through everything. “Want your thick, fat cock! Oh, Jack deeper. Take me. Own me.”

And Jack does just that. He thrusts and screws like there is no tomorrow pushing them into bliss with each movement. Finally, Jack gets John to scream his name and his lover comes covering his fingers and chest. He can feel his whole body vibrate with the strength of his orgasm and soon follows him over the edge. He fills the tight channel, pulsing long and deep drawing out his orgasm with the thought of seeding his lover. They kiss gentler now, still locked together but the overwhelming surge as been sated.

“Stay in me Jack...don’t leave,” John whispers and Jack’s heart clenches. He knows John isn’t really talking about their intimacy, which he’d quite happily do if possible but their lives.

“I’ll always be here, love,” Jack replies pulling him close. They curl around each other enjoying the closeness and the warmth of sex still throbbing through their bodies. 

“Did you say you had strawberries?” John asks after a while of taking in the afterglow. His impatience always wins out. “Can I lick them off you? I think they will great a bit of added flavour, sometimes they can be bland. They are mostly made up of water you know – heat them up and they turn to mush. I wouldn’t heat them though, I wouldn’t want to burn your cock.”

Jack laughs, leaving back and watching John hop around the room collecting his strawberries and anything else he might need. Jack loves this, loves the constant chatter and all the truths revealed inside them. They don’t have to say it sometimes because it’s always implied. I love you is a phrase repeated in all they do and Jack never wants this to change. John returns to the bed with strawberries and cream, climbs onto Jack’s lap and finding his cock getting hard again sinks down onto it. Jack groans, pushing up his hips but John slaps him.

“I’m hungry,” he complains pressing a very ripe strawberry against Jack’s chest and watching the flesh break apart. Jack groans knowing this is going to be a very – very long night.

*** Timeline Note: During the end Season 2 Exit wounds incident***

“Hello, pretty.” 

John jumps up from his work station and stares into the unfriendly face of Jack’s brother. He sees no resemblance there – Grey is cold and hard, while Jack gives of nothing but warmth. Warmth that John loves to bask in.

“You love him don’t you, and I do believe he loves you,” Grey announces in a tone that can mean nothing good. John notes the gun pointed in his direction, he tries to remain calm and not agitated the gunman. Unfortunately, he knows what will happen next and he’s so sorry he hasn’t said all the words he wanted to Jack. Words that he could speak so easily in actions, but found them impossible to say out loud without them sounding insignificant. He should have said them. John flinches as the gun goes off and pain explodes in his stomach as the bullet passes through him. He gasps as the pain tears though his body and he touches a hand to the bleeding wound. He knew an end was coming but he never thought it would be like this.

Gray smiles as John crashes to the floor panting as if he cannot get enough breath. It appears he’s punctured a lung or torn his stomach apart – Gray doesn’t care which he just wants Jack’s lover dead. He raises his gun again but suddenly from deep inside Torchwood comes a sound a loud and continuous banging sound that Gray cannot resist. He follows the sound moving from the main room, past the pool of blood spreading from John’s body and into the Morgue. He hears the banging from behind the door where a dead body should lay. He opens the drawer and freezes unable to accept who appears before him.

A cold hand pushes him away and he looks into the face of his brother – Jack is back and still alive after his interment. 

Jack is furious as he stares at his long lost brother and reveals how in 1901Torchwood dug him up, and then froze him to be reawakening one hundred and seven years later – so he could confront Gray. Jack understands today just how the Doctor felt on the Valiant with the death of the Master; they were bound together just as he and Gray are. He forgives his brother for his actions, but Gray refuses to absolve him and even though he wishes it beyond words, he knows Gray is too dangerous to let loose into the world. He has to act and even as tears run down his face he overpowers his brother and knocks him unconscious with a drug-soaked handkerchief.

****

Deep in the power station, Owen has never been more thankful for John’s voice. He guides him to do his last act on his earth, to vent the irradiated fuel and save them from nuclear meltdown. John sounds so weak, but Owen doesn’t have time for long goodbyes. He knows this is the end and as Owen seals the area he whispers his goodbyes. John weeps as the connection is cut and he knows his friend is gone. He had dragged himself to the computer, forced his aching body to work but slowly everything started to fade and his body turned cold. He no longer had control over his limbs and slid down the side of his desk, his hand unable to apply pressure to the wound that pumped out more of his precious life’s blood.

“John!” 

John hears his name being called and the voices of Gwen, Ianto and Jack get forever nearer. He’s so thankful that Jack will be there at the end. That he can say those words.

“John!” Jack screams seeing the pool of blood and collapsing down beside him. “No, oh please,” he cries touching John’s pale face and his fresh tears splash against his pale skin.

John opens his eyes again and smiles up at his lover. “I...Love you,” he whispers as blood drips from his mouth. He tries to move his hand but Jack has to help and holds it tight kissing his lips against the cooling skin.

“Don’t you dare leave me,” Jack begs. He strokes his thumb over the full lips wishing he could kiss him again and stare into eyes that burning with life but instead are faded and dull. “I’ll always love you.”

John smiles but the pain is too much and he can do nothing more as the darkness rises up to take him. 

“John, oh please John,” Jack pleads sliding down into a ball and hugging the cold hand against his chest. Ianto and Gwen can only watch as their friend’s lover dies before them. His face pale and splattered with blood.

The clean-up is painful and the morgue is full. Jack stands beside the drawer holding the one person he thought he’d never find – his brother Gray. A hand touches his shoulder and he turns to come face to face with Captain John Hart.

“It’s not your fault,” Hart tells him, seeing the pain in his ex-friend/lover’s eyes. Jack doesn’t answer just slides the drawer closed and moves on to the next. The face that looks up at him makes his heart ache and nothing can replace the emptiness inside him. He knew that there was a possibility that John could have died from a re-occurrence of his illness that had taken his memories but Jack thought he’d have had more time. More time holding him – loving him.

“He was a brave man,” Hart comments looking at the young human who was so special in Jack’s heart. The young man held Jack’s affections in a way no-one else had, or will ever do again (not even John Hart.)

“The best,” Jack manages to say and he can say no more as fresh tears fall. Hart kisses him goodbye and leaves but Jack just feels empty. There is nothing left for him here. The one person he treasured above all is gone. He kisses the pale lips and then closes the drawer saying goodbye not only to John but everything else too. 

As he enters the main room of the hub both Ianto and Gwen stop what they are doing and watch as he picks up a rucksack.   
“Jack what are you doing?” Gwen asks concerned terrified by Jack’s state of mind.

“I can’t stay. It’s too painful.” Jack whispers and starts to turn away. 

Gwen reacts in fury and catches Jack’s arm. “That’s it? You’re just going to leave.”

“He’s gone,” Jack pushes her hand off and shaking as his voice breaks knowing he’s on the verge of collapsing with the grief that is killing him.

“I thought you cared Jack – cared about what Torchwood does. We protect the earth and without you...”

“Gwen,” Ianto interrupts and sees the pain in Jack’s face. He knows that Jack loved John more than anyone ever knew. He’d tried to ignore that fact once and let himself believe there could be a chance for them. He’d tried to make Jack love him and John had stood aside thinking he was not good enough to be happy. Ianto was the one who was wrong – what these two shared was something he could never have.

“Goodbye Jack,” Ianto says, holding Gwen back and not preventing Jack from leaving. The Immortal walks out the door not looking back because there is nothing there for him anymore. Once this place was filled with John’s incessant talking, his experiments and Jack missed it. Every room he saw John there – John hurting, happy, high – it didn’t matter. He was everywhere and Jack didn’t know how to breathe without him.

****

Deep in the Torchwood hub, inside a morgue drawer a golden glow started to glow and spread. It blazed out around the edges of the door before exploding outwards in a shower of light. Inside the cold darkness, green eyes opened and a new living body drew its first breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO NOT PANIC! Everything will be fine...


	4. Rebirth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Sacrifice is made and Jack has a chance for a new beginning.

Since escaping Earth via a passing transport, Jack had wasted no time getting drunk. He stayed away from people and drank from sun up to sundown losing himself in his grief. He was sitting at a bar that night, drinking hyper-vodka when suddenly he felt a presence. To his surprise as he looked up he discovered someone he really didn’t expect. The Doctor stood in the doorway, dressed in his dark brown suit with long flowing coat. Something wasn’t right... It took Jack a moment to realise it but there was something very wrong with that picture. The Doctor looked weak...ill, but Jack didn’t move as the Time Lord locked eyes with him. So much was said with one glance and Jack was overwhelmed once again with grief. He was losing another love and there was nothing he could do. Instead, Jack saluted his friend and the Doctor gave him one last sad smile. Suddenly, Jack jumped as the Barman tapped his hand and offered him a piece of paper.

“For you,” He says in a rough voice, shoving a note over before walking away.

“Find me – I am where you left me.” 

Jack doesn’t understand the words but when he looks up again the Doctor is gone. He drops everything, running across the room and out the door but there is no sign the Time Lord. He looked at the note again not understanding, but strangely a hope starts to burn inside him – could it be? Was it possible? Jack didn’t know what to believe but the Doctor was trying to tell him something. Something very important. He doesn’t want to believe but just this once he prays that the universe will give him this one miracle. It takes a little organising but not 48 hours after he’d left Earth he’s heading back again. Hope fills his heart and drives him on. Soon he’s teleporting back into the Torchwood Hub only to find it deserted and dark. Everything looks the same since he left and he’s suddenly afraid. He runs thru the corridors heading towards the morgue, throwing open the doors and a cry rises from his chest, 

“John!”

The drawer where he’d placed John’s body had been broken open and the door was deformed appearing to be blown off its hinges by explosion inside. Jack fears turn desperate now.

“JOHN!” he screams as he runs through the hub shouting over and over until finally there is a sign of life. Opening his office door he discovers the hatch broken open leading to his former bedroom. The lights were on and he immediately jumped down. Curled on the bed was a naked figure. He was shivering uncontrollably and sweat covered his body. Jack’s heart stopped when green eyes opened to stare directly at him and in their confused depths he sees recognition.

“Jack...what’s happening to me?” 

Jack wanted to cry with joy at the sight of John alive and whole. He tore off his great coat and carefully wrapped it around the shivering body.

“John,” Jack breathes, fresh tears filling his eyes. He cannot stop himself from grabbing hold of the young man and hugging him tightly against him. But something is so very different and Jack leans back placing a hand over John’s chest. He can feel a heartbeat – not a human heartbeat but a Time Lord rhythm. “Doctor?”

John stares at him, confused showing as his eyes widen but he does recognise the name. His name maybe? “What am I?” he cries, holding onto Jack’s arms and squeezing tight. “I felt myself die, Jack. I wasn’t me – my face was different and I felt myself die. It turned into me – that face was mine and he said I could breathe again – and I did... What am I Jack?”

“John, it is okay love. Everything is wonderful,” Jack soothes while he holds his lover close determined never to leave his side ever again. He doesn’t know how or why, but he knows that this is the Doctor. Yet at the same time he is John, wonderful human John whom he’d loved for nearly five years. This man was the only one he’d ever love again and his love didn’t care about his identity. John and the Doctor was the same person – but this wasn’t the tenth regeneration - it was his eleventh. Suddenly, Jack understood the Tenth’s Doctor’s visit – he’d known all this time since the Master – the Doctor had known who and what John was, but for whatever reason he’d left John in the dark about his real identity. He had known that he would die and regenerate into that face. Known he’d be altered most likely against his will...Jack shivered at the thought. Who had been able to do that to the Doctor? Who had the ability? The ability to medically change a Time Lord into a human? The scars of so many operations made complete sense now – someone had done this to him, then taken his memories, reset his brain but the Time Lord consciousness had been breaking through bit by bit. The Doctor’s personality had always been there but slowly the Time Lord was fighting back, breaking through the bonds of his imprisonment in a human body and tried to remake it his own.  
Then the Tenth Doctor had gone to his death and somehow awakened something deep inside John – maybe he’d given him back his consciousness – his connection to the Time and the Universe. He’d done something to bring him back – to trigger John’s Time Lord healing ability or his regenerative powers and gave him back his life. Jack had so many questions and so few answers, but at this very second he couldn’t care less. John/the Doctor was alive – here and in his arms – he’d been given a second chance and Jack wasn’t going to waste it.

Jack wrapped his arms around John and held him tight pushing all the questions from his mind because at this moment nothing else mattered. He had the one love of his life back. “I love you, John – Doctor – whatever you call yourself. I love you with every breath I take.”

John stares at him with wide eyes listening to every word. Tears fill those bright green orbs and he clings to Jack. His head isn’t right yet but in his heart...hearts he knows he loves Jack more than anything. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I should have said the words – I should have told you that I love you.”

Jack swallows hard, surprised that he’d ever hear those words spoken by this person again and he treasured them. He knew deep down side that John had always loved him, in the things he did or said. John was telling him all the time and he let those moments go but never again. 

“I know my love,” he whispers, holding John tightly to him and warming him once again. “You don’t have to be afraid. You’re not dying. Your body is healing and becoming something wonderful. You don’t have to be afraid because I’m going to be right here with you. I’ll never leave you.”

John sobs against his chest in hurt and confusion. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him. His body is changing along with everything else. He remembers dying but at the same time new memories are being born. He feels the beat of his two hearts and it feels so strange yet so right all at the same time. Yet, out of all the confusion and fear he trusts Jack, the one who holds him together – Jack has the answers and John trusts him with his life. He curls into the warm body, Jack’s arms around him, holding him tight and lets his mind drift into sleep. Jack smiles down into the dark hair as the green eyes close and he starts to breathe deeper. He’s back home – home with John.

*****

Jack awakens slowly to find himself alone on the bed and he’s instantly awake. He looks around the room panicked but he sighs with relief as he spots John – the Doctor – walking around the room. Eleven looks a little like Ten – still tall and thin, though he was a little more amazing thick dark hair and startling green eyes. The face was wider, the chin and brow broader but Jack didn’t just fall in love with the looks. He had loved the Doctor or John for who they were, the rest was just really great extras that went with the whole package. He still looked like human John but suddenly not – a clarity or presence had been returned to him as his body healed and his true nature had been revealed.

“I don’t remember who I am,” John declares, his fingers gliding over Jack’s stuff – touching books and furniture as if looking for memories. “I remember you and being here, having my own place –I’ve never had that before...”

“J-Doctor, it’s okay...”

“I prefer you call me John, Jack. I don’t know who the Doctor is yet. Everything feels so strange and yet so familiar.”

“John, come back to bed.”

“That shouldn’t excite me Jack. Time Lords don’t do this – I shouldn’t be doing this...”

“John,” Jack begs and large frightened eyes catch his. “Come here.” The Doctor sighs and crawls back on the bed, his naked body curling around Jack’s. Jack shifts, holding him tightly and covering them both with a blanket. John settles against him, his head on his chest listening to Jack’s strong heart.

“I almost wish I only had one,” he whispers.

“I don’t,” Jack tells him. “If you did I would have lost you forever – I couldn’t take that.”

“You left?” John remembers an image of a bar and a note appears in his mind. Not only that but he remembers his last moment, watching Jack’s tearful face as his life slipped though his fingers. The terrible suffering and grief that had been visible in Jack’s features, his hearts ache for his lover wishing he could have taken that pain too.

“I couldn’t face anything without you,” Jack admits, burying his face into the dark hair and breathing deeply. John smells and feels like he always has to Jack – perfect. “I wanted to die with you.”

John pulls away and looks directly into the tear filled blue eyes. His hand strokes them away and he leans forward – pressing his mouth to Jack’s. To Jack it’s like a damn explodes and he can’t hold back. He gathers the Doctor close, his hand grabbing at more skin as he sucks on his lover’s tongue. He rolls them, spreading John’s legs so that he can move between them. There isn’t time for reparation or anything else; Jack just managed to slick his dick with precum before he’s pressing forward filling his lover – making them one once again.

“Jack,” John cries in painful pleasure as the Immortal fills his body. It’s the same as all the other times he’s done this – but suddenly more. He knows he could separate his mind from his body’s responses just as he did all those other times men paid to fuck him, but with Jack he doesn’t want to. He wants to feel everything – he wants Jack to fill every part of him. He clings to the other man, panting into his mouth as Jack thrusts desperately inside him. They claw at skin with hands and teeth, kissing and licking and moving until it all starts rolling into one massive desperate need.

“Jack!” John screams as he comes between them and Jack fills his body with his passion. Desire and energy sizzle along John’s nerves, awaking new ones and they make his hearts pound. Lust filled blood burns around his body and he cries out again in delight before collapsing in Jack’s arms.

“I think you enjoyed that,” Jack says with a grin, wiping back his sweat damp hair and looking down at this lover. He’s never seen John do that before and found it damn erotic.

“It was new,” John answers with a grin. He can still feel it tingling along his senses, filling his body with sparking energy. “I like it.” 

Jack laughs at the simple answers and draws John near, “Time Lord’s don’t do sex?”

“Not like humans I don’t think. I’ve never felt like this before – I know that. My body feels...alive.”

Jack strokes over his lover with firm hands, cradling him close - pleased that their joining caused him no pain and it was just the opposite. No matter whom this man was, Jack didn’t think he could go without touching him again, holding him, fucking him – loving him.

“There is also another problem,” John admits slowly, turning in Jack’s arms to face him and look down at his skin. “I seem to be covered in tattoo’s...”

Jack laughs softly, “I like them. They suit you.”

“They seem to make my skin my own. Maybe I was reclaiming it?” John stares at the tattoo around his hand getting a suddenly flash of a sword fight and the pain of losing it. Jack strokes his fingers following the lines of black marks and brings John’s wrist to his mouth. John shudders as Jack kisses the lines following it around his wrist and then sucking his fingers. John decides he really likes them too. 

Jack kisses sex warmed skin, licking over the tattoo’s he’s come to love. They are marks of the Doctor’s/John’s mind as he tried to understand who he was. He marked his skin with images of his self discovery –reclaiming it back as if somehow John had known his Time Lord essence had been taken from him. John moans with the kisses and his green eyes darken with lust. He remembers other men touching him, men taking what they wanted from his body but none were like Jack. Jack makes him burn. He connects with Jack on levels beyond that of body or mind. He knows that Time Lords don’t do this – they have the necessary equipment but evolutionarily speaking they have moved beyond. But with Jack touching him, kissing him he decides they might have missed the important thing about sex – the contact and the closeness you get when someone loves you and physical love can be just as powerful as mental. Their contact reveals who they are and what they feel for each other. It doesn’t lie like words can – when their bodies join they speak nothing but the truth – that truth being - I love you. He hears those words as Jack kisses him, touches him – the reverence with which Jack has always treated him even when he was a whore. Jack touches him as though he’s special, he’s loved and he’s wanted.

John pushes Jack onto his back, kneeling over him and finds the hard cock. Jack moans his hands stroking over John’s thighs, playing special attention to each mark and tattoo he finds. John shudders with the touch, the burning that echoes through his body as Jack’s love burns through his fingers. John stokes the hard cock loving how he makes Jack moan and thrusts his hips – he loves how it gives him so much power. John is humbled by Jack’s pure trust in him – his gift of everything he is to a broken Time Lord. He raises himself over the hard cock and guides it inside his body. It stretches him wide, opening him and then filling him full again until he rests in Jack’s lap. John groans touching his belly and swearing he can feel Jack there – pushing up though his flesh, burning towards his hearts and mind.

Jack’s eyes are glazed with the desire and he strokes every inch of skin he can reach. John is so tight around him and he squeezes muscles that are now stronger than ever before.

“John, please,” Jack begs loving to be joined with his lover but he wants more. He wants John to raise his gorgeous body and just fuck himself on Jack’s thick cock. He wants to come inside him, filling him with a mark he’ll never be free from. 

“Love your cock,” John remarks making Jack blush and groan. He uses his thighs to lift his body up and down on Jack’s solid length, loving the hard rod that rearranges his insides. He rubs his belly and moans with delight as the burning of his orgasm starts to rage within. His body moves faster and he pants wanting more. He leans down, holding himself up with his arms while his mouth searches for Jack only to seal them together. He loves Jack’s clever tongue and for a while they duel, but the position means Jack doesn’t thrust so deeply within in him. Without that John feels hollow – at this moment he needs Jack so deep within him - filling all the empty places. He straightens up and whines, “Oh Jack!” as strong hands dig into his hips forcing him to ride Jack harder and deeper. He feels as if his body will explode into tiny pieces at any moment but he welcomes it with open arms and hearts.

John throws his head back screaming out his orgasm and as he does light pours out from of every pore. Jack comes an instant after, burning heat raging through his body as the Doctor’s light flows into him, filling every part and he has to close his eyes because they burn with the brightness. Light blazes around the room, turning everything white until finally it fades and dies.  
Jack opens his eyes expecting to be blinded, but everything has returned to normal. No, not completely normal he feels different.

“Love?” he asks finding John sprawled over his body appearing to be dozing.

“Hey Jack,” John says weakly, exhausted and utterly spent but it was so worth it. “Guess I know why we stop doing this.”

It’s then that the realisation hits Jack understanding what John is referring to – His mouth isn’t moving yet Jack clearly heard his voice. 

“Yep – it seems I’m inside your head – just as you are in mine.”

Jack touches the Doctor’s face and tries to test their contact – he feels waves of confusion from John, hurt and a sense of loss. There is something else however; something bright inside his mind that glows radiating so much warmth, and love, and a feeling of home.

“That’s us,” John tells him as Jack smiles cuddling close. The light is so beautiful – a bright and warm spark of calm in the Doctor’s chaotic mind. 

“I don’t know how to break it, Jack.” John admits as Jack withdraws from his mind back into his body as he holds his lover close.

“Break it?” Jack gasps in horror, wondering why anyone would want to break this amazing gift he’d been given. The Doctor loves him and has given himself to Jack in such a way that Jack will never doubt it.

“You’re stuck with me, Jack. I don’t know how this works, what it means for us. I don’t even know me at the moment – and now you’re bound to me – a total mess...”

“Shhh,” Jack calms his lover with a kiss. “I don’t care what you are – I love you and I meant what I said I won’t let you go again.”  
Jack feels the Doctor’s amazement – the waves of hope coming off him and under that the pure joy because of his love. 

“I don’t want you to ever leave,” John admits softly, curling into Jack’s body and holding him tight. He needs the solid stableness that Jack’s whole being offers – his stable emotions, his deep affections, his identity and even the fact he’s a fixed point in time brings the Doctor comfort. Jack is his anchor but he’s more than that – he’s his lover – the other part to his soul that has been missing since the day he was born, but now he’s finally made whole again.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

John can feel Jack’s desire to say more. He wants to find who did this – where they are and what they did. At this moment however, John just wants to find himself first. He rests into Jack’s arms as the he falls into sleep happy to be home. John follows him into his mind; touching Jack’s dreams and for the first time, he finds he’s safe in the dark.

*****End****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this story - I love 11 he's so ditzy - see last night's episode - Fantastic!  
> I know there are a lot of unanswered questions. However, I still haven't decided who the bad guys are - there are so many unanswered questions in the current Doctor who series and I really wanted to know more about the Silence...but it looks like we might not get it. Anyhow, this part of the story was really about John and Jack connecting and forming a bond. I certainly want to write more and have lots of ideas. So this saga isn't finished yet...


End file.
